Poems collection -Self harm (trigger warning)

Falling Weight

You look at the scales 44.6,

The people around you are 50+.

You're the lightest of all here,

But still, you hate myself.

You feel so fat, 

You look so fat,

You can't go out like this!

The weight goes down,

Decimal by decimal,

And shoots back up again,

Back to 44kg.

You scream, 

You cry,

You curse yourself.

You're friends start to notice,

That you're not quite yourself.

You're weaker than before,

You're sadder than before,

You're eating a lot less.

You say this time,

This time you'll make it,

Make it to the golden weight,

But of course you're still failing.

You try purging after meals,

But everytime you try

You fail. 

You almost kill yourself,

You're sent away,

From the school you love,

From the friends you love,

From the place you love.

You lock yourself away,

From everything you know,

You'll get thinner,

Even if it's the death of you.

It is the death of you.

You're falling down,

43, 42, 41,

And now you can't stop.

You're obsessed,

And people are weeping,

But you can't stop.

You've hurt everyone you know,

In attempt to love yourself,

And now you're lost,

Unsure what to do.

But still your weight will fall,

It's all you can remember.

You'll go till you die.

To Thirty Nine. 

 -

26/03/15