Poems collection -Self harm (trigger warning)

Superior nothing

I feel nothing.

I feel empty.

But I feel anger.

And I feel sadness.

That's depression.

-

I'm so angry,

But I don't know

Where its directed.

I'm so sad,

But I cannot tell,

Why this is.

-

I block it out,

I'm empty,

I'm worthless,

I don't mean anything.

I smile.

-

I'm better than them,

I can block it out,

The hunger,

The pain,

The sorrow,

The anger,

The longing,

All of it.

I am superior.

-

I see a girl,

Teary eyed.

Crying in class,

The teacher asks why,

"It's nothing" she sighs.

I should feel bad,

I should feel sad,

For the teary eyed girl,

Sitting next to my side.

-

But I don't.

I smile to myself.

I'm better,

I'm sad,

They don't know it,

I can conceal,

The secrets I hold.

-

The girl goes on,

To our next lesson,

As teary eyed as before.

And I don't care.

-

A few weeks it's been,

Since the teary eyed girl,

Now she's my bully,

She's always so mean.

I knew it wasn't worth it.

Feeling anything for her.

-

She may be sad,

She may be depressed,

But she has more friends than I,

Gets better grades than I,

Looks happier than I,

Is better than I,

Is prettier than I.

-

I know bullies feel too,

And I shouldn't feel like this,

But all I feel is anger

Towards this stupid girl.

I tried to be nice to her,

I really did try,

But she ignored me,

Left me alone,

At no cost would she be seen,

Talking to a freak like me.

28/12/14