Poems collection -Self harm (trigger warning)

Trembling Heart

With a trembling heart I sigh,
A shaky breath escapes me,
How much longer can I go,
Before I let it go?

No one sees my pain,
They see my failing mask,
Hiding pain and suffering,
But it's starting to falter.

My eyes hurt from tears,
My face a blotchy shade of red,
Yet I am still invisible,
To the human race.

There is one thing though,
That sees my hurting,
And its soul is pure evil,
He belongs to the devil.

A hallucination, they say,
But he's real to me,
And he cares for me,
He helps me through the days.

"Help" I cry with no response,
I'm kneeling on the floor,
Weakening knees,
I'm going to collapse.

Sobs fight their way out,
There's no one listening,
My heart is shattering,
And I can't get to sleep.

"Turn the light off" I get scolded,
Writing poems is what I do now,
Can she see my defiance?
Why won't she help me?

No one sees my scars,
No one sees me at all,
Why do I remain here,
Can't I just die?

I don't want to be here,
I don't want to live,
There's never a happy ending,
What's the point?

Scissors held out,
Tremors in my hands,
With crevasses to create,
I hold my breath.

29/9/14