Forever & Always 3

2.6

Flashforward: Hadiyeh and JJ's mansion, London

JJ had decided to clean the house. The house was disgusting, he had dismissed the chef and maids a week ago deciding he needed to be alone for a while.

He needed to find peace and even if his 'peace' meant holding Hadiyeh's pillow and crying every night or wearing the hoodies she had taken from him keeping her presence close to him. Her scent was his only source of comfort.

He had moved the chairs out from under the table and had begun vacuuming, the vacuum hit under the table the sound of paper coming from under the wooden table.

He hit it again, confused as to why there was the noise of paper coming from under the table. He turned the vacuum off and reached his hand under the table searching blindly for the source of the noise. Taking the piece of paper from under the table. It had his name written in the paper in Hdadiyeh's handwriting. 

He unfolds the paper and begins reading. 

I doubt whoever finds this is actually JJ, but if it is you, I'm proud of you for finally getting off your fat ass and cleaning the house. If you've cleaned the house then something must have gone wrong, either I'm dead or I've forgotten about this note and we're moving houses. (Hopefully the latter). The last time I wrote a love note was back in high school to Harry Styles and it went under my bed until Saeedeh found it and bullied me about it for years. 

Not the point though, in any case, I don't make it back from Fashionweek, use this as my will. All of my property goes to Jannah and you. Tell Saeedeh that she and Tobi have my blessing to finally get married and make sure they leave a chair for me, I'll be there dressed in blue, her favourite colour. Tell Freya and Josh to get over themselves and make sure to give Josh a smack for taking so long to get married, if they ever actually do. Tell Talia and Simon that their wedding is going to be the cutest and so are their children, Talia always wanted a boy and a girl twin, (JJ don't be a dick, offer to babysit), Tell Simon that no one thinks he's too lanky or tall, he's your best friend and more self-conscious than you, so back him. Give Ethan my best wishes and tell him that I'll always be there if he wants to talk, tell him and Faith to make sure their wedding is as magical as their love. Tell Vik and Sasha that I'll be looking over their child as if she's my own, and tell him to put a ring on his girl. 

Tell Amira that I'll watch over her three angels, make sure anytime you go visit spoil them just like I would have done. Tell Hamza to keep searching for love, he'll find the one, eventually and make sure Abbas knows that what happens to him is because he broke so many hearts, what he receives is Karma paying back her debt.

And finally to you, JJ.

You were not my first kiss, but you were my last, you were the one that mattered. You were the touch that made stars refract light through my eyes. You were the feeling that dilated my pupils. You were the smell that stayed in my teeshirt. You made the sky rain with your thumping heart but you still managed to silence the world just to hear me breathe. You were the world I got lost in. You were the feeling that felt perfect. You were the love that felt familiar, a love I've known for lifetimes, before and after. I felt what living felt like with you. I lived, I loved and I laughed with you. We're infinite remember that. 

But JJ if by any chance I don't make it, take care of Jannah, move on find a new lover. Live the life that I missed out on. If I reach heaven and see you sulking from up there, I'm not going to be happy. Live, party, fall in love again, grow old with her. Your love for her could never be like ours (As cocky as it sounds, it's true), but don't let that stop you. Search for love and when you do find her give her everything.

But please never forget me, you were everything I had in this life and everything I'll have in the next. I love you, forever and always. 

Until we meet again. Jide Jr, take care of both yourself and our little angel.

Yours truly and yours only, Hadiyeh M. Ezra. 

(P/S: Forgive the tear stains)

JJ's cries echoed around the house as he sat at the dining table crying his eyes out. He missed her, he missed her smile, her contagious laughter, the way her pouty lips would smirk, or how her eyebrow would arch. The twinkle in her eyes when she was cooking up mischief. He missed her. 

And for the first time ever, he found himself sitting in one of the box rooms, she had decorated in green, where she often prayed in. Her prayer mat was where she had left it. The room was suffocating with her heavenly scent and JJ only cried harder. He sat down on the prayer mat and prostrated.

He was never a strong believer in God, his parents forced religion onto him and he never found any of the church sermons interesting. But he always respected Hadiyeh's strong belief, she never forced him into anything he was uncomfortable with and JJ was thankful for it. But he always admired the way, she found peace when praying and a small part of him envied her for it. 

He put his head down onto the mat, breathing in the scent of vanilla and comfort, one that was so significant and personalized to her. He prayed in the way he had seen her do multiple times, his way of praying however was much more different to hers. 

"I've never felt any type of way about you, but I know Hadiyeh's belief was strong, she was thankful to you for everything she had." He steadied his breathing, "I've never asked anything from you, I've always believed in hard work, but for the first time I want to ask one thing from you."

"I want my wife back." 

Written: 25/10/2021

Published: 27/10/2021

(A/N: who cried? I did whilst writing this chapter and editing it.)