Part 12 ~ He Came

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Anika's Point Of View ~ 

I just got off the phone with Darren. He is being so supportive. He has always been that way. He understands what I need to do, the fact that I am staying here for . . well, I'm not even sure myself. For as long as I need. Once I feel that grandmother doesn't need me here, I will go. Back home and back to Darren. 

But I don't feel complete doing that. 

Not without speaking to someone else. I'm not going to just get up and leave . . not again. Not this time. I'm not doing that to him. I know that he deserves much better than that. But I was hurt. I couldn't stay . . I simply couldn't. I want to see Michael. I wish to speak to him so badly. But I don't know anything about him now. I used to . . but those days are gone. I went back to where Michael worked but he wasn't there. I was hoping to see him but . . no such luck. But I feel that Michael doesn't want to speak to me though. 

But I must try. 

How else can I reach him? I don't have his contact number, not anymore. I had to erase that once I left. I couldn't keep it. But now I'm left thinking . . how? How can I try and find him? What can I do? 

"Anika, dear . . " I hear grandmother call me. 

I walk back into the kitchen. I see her sitting at the table, still eating her food that I prepared for her. 

"You okay, grandmother? . . " 

"What do you need? . . " I ask her softly. 

"I just wanted to say thank you, Anika . . " She tells me with a smile. 

I sit down at the table with her. My coffee already there, waiting for me. Grandmother keeps telling me to eat with her. But I'm not hungry. I'm happy with just my coffee. It's all I need. I made my grandmother the works . . eggs, bacon, toast spread with avocado. I just want to make sure she eats. I don't want her to forget to do that. 

It really frightens me. 

But it hasn't gotten that way yet. Thank goodness. The sound of the ticking clock is all that is heard. I watch as grandmother cleans up her plate. It makes me very happy to see. I sip my coffee as I sit with her, quite content I am in this very moment. I feel grandmothers eyes on me. 

"You okay, dear? . . " She asks me. 

I just nod. I haven't told her much of anything about it really. What I have been feeling. To be honest, she wouldn't remember. She hasn't even mentioned Michael since I got her come to think of it. Maybe she doesn't remember. I don't know. I wish to talk to grandmother about it but I know I shouldn't even bother . . it would only confuse her. It really feels like grandmother doesn't remember him, she doesn't remember us. It sure feels that way. It's so sad. I remember grandmother would be over the moon every time she saw Michael. Every time he would come over here, she would fuss over him let me tell you. She would wish to always whip up some kind of bake good or meal for him. She would always pinch his cheeks. She really thought the world of Michael. She loved him. But now, she doesn't remember. And that is fine, I'm not mad at her. Not at all. Grandmother isn't herself . . she isn't well and that is something that deeply upsets me. Jeez, I even remember grandmother would always say that one day we would become married. Michael and I. 

"Yeah. I'm fine . . " I tell her. 

I feel myself completely brush that last thought away. Brush Michael away but only for a second to recover from such a thought. But it doesn't work. I feel my eyes begin to build up with tears. Oh no. No no. Do not fall. I stand up from my seat, walking over to the kitchen sink. I look up and out of the large window that sits just above it. I don't look at anything in particular . . but I am however, thinking of someone in particular. Since I saw Michael the other day, I have just been so emotional, struggling even. I so badly wish to speak to him again. When that will be exactly . . I don't know. Will I ever even get that chance? I don't know that answer either. I think back once again. Right after I saw Michael that night, Lisa knew. She knew exactly how I was feeling, what I was thinking. It was just such a shock. So unexpected and Lisa knew that. She said to me she'll check in on me . . and she did. She came over yesterday and we talked about it. 

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