𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐔𝐬

Part 26 ~ Reminisce

Michael's Point Of View ~ 

A whisper in my voice as I remember it. 

I saw it. The sadness in her eyes before she so suddenly looked away from me. What was she thinking about that caused such a change in her? Her grandmother, I suppose. So I made my voice soft, a whisper so that I wouldn't startle her. I said just kiss me because that is all I wished to do. However, her actions proved to me that she wants to do much more than just kiss. 

As for me . . 

I do too, of course. I love Anika. But I feel that making the first move, a move leading to something like that might even mean the end of us. I don't wish to cross the line. I don't know what Anika is exactly thinking when it comes to such an act. After all, she is a married women. I believe Anika when she tells me she loves me. How can I not? I have no reason not to. But I do wish to speak to Anika about her husband . . what about him? Is she going to tell him about what has been happening between us? It's something that wasn't planned but proof that our love always remained. But I can't it. I can't stop. It's when I look at Anika, I think about that night. The night at the beach where everything changed. 

Including me. 

I still don't know why she left. Why did she? Was it the stress of it all? . . the guilt, perhaps? I wish she would talk to me about it. I feel like I deserve that. But she hasn't. Not once. Anika probably doesn't even think about it anymore. It has been 10 years. I still have questions. I was left hurt, upset . . angry even after she left. I still am to this day but I don't love her any less. I love Anika too much. But I don't just think about that when I look at Anika. I also think about the good times. I remember us all those years ago. Back when we were us . . such fond memories. We were so happy. So full of life. So young but so in love. Anika's grandmother would say that all the time. I would envision our future. All the time. Our future was something I could see for us, even more as there was a chance given to us to guarantee that. 

But a decision was made. 

And then, Anika left. 

Odie comes over to me. He is still scared but he's getting better. I'm just keeping an eye on him and touching base with the vet too. I don't know what is going on with him. I asked mother to come over when I was out at the nursing home with Anika. I came home, and mother told me he was fine but I'm not taking any chances. Not until I feel confident enough then I'll allow him to be home on his own. Odie has been like this for weeks now. 

"How are you today, buddy? . . " 

I ask him, giving him a loving pat. Watching him as he walks around the apartment with his tail between his legs. I hope he is okay and this is just a phase. I'm really worried about him. I wish Odie could talk to me. To tell me what he is thinking . . to tell me why he is so scared. I chuckle a bit as I think. My mind wondering back once again, back to Anika. Back to when we were together and so happy. I can't help but reminisce. I knew Anika was going to love Odie. That's why I had to bring him along that day she and I went for that walk. Anika has always loved animals. Always wished for a dog of her own. But she never got one as her grandfather wouldn't allow that. I never got to met him. But I'm told he was a good man, a lovely man. From what Anika remembers about him and told me about him, it was obvious that her grandfather loved her. She was his pride and joy, by the sounds of it. When he passed, Anika would tell me it was a sudden thing. Being so young but still being effected by his passing I feel. 

And after losing her parents. 

Well, it isn't for me to say. 

That is something I could never imagine, losing my parents. The two people that were made themselves to create and love you. I sit down on the lounge, Odie jumps up to sit down beside me. A tiny cry is heard from him. My arm around him to pat him again, hoping to reassure him that he is safe. I sigh as I think. I know that today is the day that Anika takes her grandmother to the nursing home. I hope all is well with them both. Should I call her? Text her? . . anything. But Anika knows that I'm here to help her if she needs it. The sky is blue as it's yet another day. Clouds white and so fluffy. It's a quite day for me today . . day off. The noise from outside is faint but still heard as I sit on the other side of the walls and windows that separate me. 

The coffee table drawer opens. 

Allow me to reminisce once more. I sift through it for a few seconds. I know it's in here somewhere. It's been so long but I know it's in here. I gasp so softly. I found it. There it is. It's sudden presence makes me freeze . . completely halting me. My eyes fixed on it. I swallow hard as my fingers take hold of it. I knew it was in here but actually seeing it - still took me by surprise for some reason. It's a photo of Anika and I. It was taken only a few days before everything changed. Before Anika up and left town. 

A polaroid photo. 

In the photo - my arms around her, my lips on her cheek. 

A smile displayed upon her face as she looks at the camera. 

Look at us. Look at her. Always having that beautiful smile. She still does, things like that don't change. It was summer time, always so hot in sunny Queensland. A wedding, I believe it was. One of Anika's cousins. It's crazy how you forget about something and then a single glance at a photo makes you remember everything in a matter of seconds. We were both unaware of what was going to happen with us. Thinking I would be with her forever . . foolish of me, I know. But no. I wasn't foolish. Was I? Because I truly believed that. We were happy and wanted that kind of commitment, that kind of celebration for ourselves one day. 

How things changed. 

I recall us sitting on the sand. A little after dusk, I believe it was. She told me, and afterwards, it was silent . . only the waves were heard. I held in my tears. Wanting some kind of distraction . . so I said to Anika to look at the moon. I remember it was full that night. It was so beautiful. My voice changed, it was much softer than normal . . a quiver in it, even. I could feel her move closer and closer to me as we continued to sit on the sand beside each other. It was said . . Anika told me. It was in that moment where I felt my heart break. I can't say how Anika was feeling, what she was thinking in that moment but she seemed to feel the same. I just don't understand. 

Why? 

Why did it have to happen? 

But it never changed the way I feel about Anika. I love her . . that's all I ever did. But perhaps, it just wasn't enough. 

to be continued.