Taming Red

Chapter 10

"Nevermind, don't answer that," sabi ko at nilampasan siya.

I shouldn't have asked. We used to be close, laugh about the dumbest things in the neighborhood and all that. Until one day, he just turned cold, like he holds all the burden of this world. Like there's always watching his moves and one wrong word, he'll be in trouble. As much as I accepted how we turned out, I can't help but wonder sometimes.

Tatlong hakbang palang ay napahinto ako nang pigilan niya ang kamay ko, paglingon ko ay nakita ko ang mga mata niyang puno ng pagsusumamo. I'm confused, he doesn't show this side of him to me. He has long stopped showing any emotions aside from his robot face.

"I don't think you'll be okay if I tell you my reason," mahinang sabi niya.

Hindi ko nagustuhan ang sagot niya. He always makes me feel like there's things I'm incapable of understanding.

"Siguro. Since you always sees me as a child," I said. His face showed an expression I can finally understand, it is disagreeing.

"Red," he called me.

I smiled bitterly, "At least you should have told me na hanggang doon nalang ang friendship natin, hindi 'yung bigla ka nalang lalayo," sabi ko. Tuloy ang kabog ng dibdib ko, bumakas sa mukha niya ang emosyong hindi ko na naman maintindihan.

Nauna na akong maglakad at hanggang sa makarating sa tapat ng bahay ay hindi kami nagkikibuan.

"Thanks for tonight."

Kunot lang ang noo niya hanggang sa isara ko na ang gate.

"P-Pa!" gulat akong pumasok sa pinto, he's been listening to us all this time.

"Aba, nagkabalikan na kayo?" tanong niya habang sinasara ang pinto.

Umirap ako. "Dad, there was never an us!" inarte ko na ikinatawa niya.

"Oo nga pala, hindi ka naman type ni Gray," sabi niya at tinalikuran ako para dumiretso sa kusina.

"Excuse me?" I reacted, sometimes my Dad is such a child. Talagang babarahin niya ako o aasarin like we're a tropa.

Tinawanan lang niya ako, "Basta anak, kahit sinong piliin mo basta may pangarap at may respeto , ayos na ako," sabi niya habang nasa hapag kami.

Napairap ako dahil bigla niyang pagseseryoso, "Ang baba naman ng standards mo, siyempre dapat gwapo rin no," sabi ko pa, binato niya ako ng buto.

"Siyempre, kasama na rin 'yun," natatawang sabi niya. He seems to be in a good mood, palagay ko ay maganda ang takbo ng work niya these past months, nagkaroon kase ng ilang spam sa ibabaw ng ref at ilang mamahaling chips. On a regular basis, hindi naman kami bumibili ng maraming ganon, given the budget at dalawa lang naman kami.

Natapos ang gabi at madaling araw na, I am still staring at my ceiling, wondering what tomorrow will bring. Aside from the performance, wala na akong maisip na i-look forward, tapos na rin ang birthday ko kaya there is nothing to be excited about.

I sighed.

Kinabukasan, sakto lang ang dating ko sa school. Swerte ko pa nga na hindi ako na-late.

"I'm walking," I said. Tumabi ang mga estudyanteng naglalakad na parang nasa buwan o parang abay sa kasal.

"Ay sorry po," sagot nung isa, nagsitabi sila like they should be. I am never nice, but I don't do things for no reason.

"Totoo bang buntis siya?" rinig kong bulong. I clenched my fist, the last time I punched a junior ay nagkabangayan kami ni Gray, now I don't want him to think na nagpapapansin ako which is not true, kaya pipigilan kong hindi makasapak ngayon.