Love never dies

▪︎ 11 ▪︎

The next morning I wake up early, after another dream about Beca. I sit on the edge of my bed, looking through my tiny bedroom. Every room of my apartment is tiny, but just big enough to fit in my king size bed. I go over the mattress with my hand. I used to share this mattress with Beca. I still can't believe she will never lie here with me. It's been almost two-and-a-half-years since the boat sank and I'm still not over Beca.

There are many memories that Beca and I shared. Beca inviting me to her family's game nights on Friday's, our science project and the first time I kissed her. I feel so lonely here without her and that guys start to flirt with me doesn't help.

My phone starts ringing and I look down to see that Aubrey's calling me. Usually I will be ecstatic to see Aubrey's name show up on my caller ID, but now my mind isn't in the mood for a conversation with my best friend. I ignore the call and feel the sunlight on my face. I see a message from Aubrey asking me to call her as soon as I can, but I don't reply back.

I get up and walk to the bathroom. I turn my face so I can not see myself in the mirror because I get memories from when Beca and I were standing in front of the mirror together, holding each other closely. I wash my hands and go to the kitchen to get started with breakfast, knowing that Kara is sleeping in Ryan's room right now. I have some time to prepare this breakfast.

Half an hour later, the table is full with bacon, eggs and the Cheerios cereal for Ryan. It smells nice and I can hear footsteps on the stairs.
,,It smells delicious!" Kara looks at me with a smile.
,,I hope you like bacon and eggs, Kara." I say, pointing at the table.
,,Oh come on, who doesn't like bacon and eggs?!" She looks at me as if I'm crazy to even ask that. I laugh.
,,And look sweety," I turn towards Ryan who rubs his eyes. ,,I have Cheerios." His face lit up and he literally runs towards the table. Kara laughs.
,,He obviously loves breakfast, just like Beca always did." She tells me and I can see a small sad expression. Maybe it's time to show Kara my board? Nobody except for Chicago knows I'm having my own investigation about the boat accident and now that the authorities has stopped searching for survivors, I'm the only one who can try and find Beca. If she's still alive.
,,I want to show you something after breakfast, Kara." I say and look at her. Her eyebrows get raised but I don't say something else.
,,Okay, that sounds important." She only says and then grabs her phone to message someone. ,,I tell Lena that I will be a little late today." Okay, now I feel bad. She made plans with the girl she's in love with and now I'm the one making her see her later.
,,Kara, you don't -" She hold up her hand.
,,It's important, right? What you want to show me?" I nod. ,,Well, then Lena has to wait. Besides, spending more time with you and my cute nephew is worth it." I don't know how big my smile is now, but it's big. Kara loves Ryan so much. The only three persons that can't stand him are Beca's younger brother Wyatt and Beca's parents. All three of them blame me for cheating on Beca and in some way I did, but I was drunk. I know that isn't an excuse but I didn't think straight that night.
,,Mommy, can I play LEGO now?" I look over to Ryan, who is already done with his cereal. He's such a good eater, just like Beca was.
,,Of course," He smiles and get off his chair. ,,sweety?" He stops in his tracks and turn his gaze towards me. ,,Aunt Kara and I have some business to do, can you build something big with the LEGO?"
,,Okay, mommy."
,,Thank you, sweety." Ryan nods and then goes into the living room.
,,You're a great mother." Kara tells me with a smile. ,,Now show me that surprise."
,,It's not a surprise. But you will be mind blown and maybe you can help me?" Kara looks at me with a confused expression.
,,You're acting weird." She tells me and then looks at her phone, while it gives her another message. ,,Uhm, Chloe?" She looks at me again. ,,Do you mind if Lena comes here? She only has the two hours we were supposed to meet."
,,Sure no problem, but she can't know about this."
,,Whatever 'this' is." Kara gestures with her hands before replying to Lena.