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"Fuck! Isabella, calm down. Take a deep breath for me." I lay in my bed, Callan waiting outside in the living room as I attempt to calm her down. I hold her face in my hands, making her look at me.
Tears stream down her face as her blue eyes look at me desperately. Desperately wanting me to help her calm down. Her body still trembles in my arms.
"Look at me. Focus on me. Look, you're here right now. No one is going to hurt you." Redirect her focus. "Remember. Do you remember what we ate for breakfast?"
She's still not with me, lost in her own panic. "You made us french toast. You said you liked baking. Remember? Focus on that. Tell me do you remember that?"
She stays quiet for a second before nodding. A small smile forms on my face as she slowly comes back to me.
"Yeah, and then you asked if we could get baking stuff. Later I'll go get you some, okay? I'll get you all the baking stuff in the fucking world." Her breathing slows down, her body stilling.
"Good. Calm down for me." I hug her to me, her head laying on my chest as I give her Pinkie and Goldie. She takes them from me as she sniffles, her other hand wrapping around me.
I run my hands through her hair, kissing the top of her head.
Why the fuck did I just do that?
"Don't let them hurt me, please. I didn't do anything wrong. I was just a kid. I wasn't trying to be bad." Her soft voice cries out as she sniffles.
I'm so sorry.
"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault, I promise." I hug her tighter and can't help as I leave a couple more kisses on her head. Her hold on me loosens, slowly falling asleep as I run my hands through her long soft hair. Her breathing evens out, a light snoring falling from her lips as her tears dry.
"I'm so sorry. For everything." I whisper.
After laying there for about 10 minutes, I slide out from underneath her, remembering that Callan was still waiting outside. I slide in a pillow for her to hold before I drape the blanket over her.
I run my hands down my face in frustration, gathering myself as I head out.
Callan's sitting on the couch, his phone in his hands as he types away. He looks up, noticing my presence as he puts his phone down. "Is she okay?" He says, worry evident in his voice.
"She's sleeping." I sit on the couch, letting out an exasperated breath. "I yelled at her. I fucking yelled at her."
His eyes widen as he blurts out, "Are you an idiot?"
He's lucky he's my best friend. But yes, I am. I am a fucking idiot.
"Do you have anything about Nikolai?" I change the subject.
