𝐎𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐫

28:not easy on me

𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐀 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐓𝐓

I hadn't been able to sleep, I was still in Christians bed and it was 6:32am. He had told me he was falling in love with me.

I was facing the ceiling, staring at nothingness while he laid his chest on my chest.

I concentrated on his breaths, his hair, his back, him. Because that's the only thing I could concentrate on.

His back had rips and dips in all the right places, hard and muscular, delicately drawing my finger over the small peach fuzz. He had a tattoo in the middle of his back. It looked like wings, something of the sort.

He had quite a few tattoos, his body was like a canvas for perfect art work.

I outlined the details of his face with my finger tips, his eyebrows, his lips, his nose, his closed eyes. He seemed to be a heavy sleeper, or he was just enjoying how much I was touching him.

He was falling in love with me.

I was going to hurt him because he was falling in love with me. I didn't want to, no part of me wanted to. But I had to.

So many things could go wrong if I allowed myself to love him back, he could cheat, he could turn out to be a completely different person, he could abuse me, he could rape me.

No but he wouldn't, I know he wouldn't, right.

He hadn't gave me any reason to believe he would do anything bad to me, if anything I feel safe with him, in his arms, with him here with me.

It was me that was going to ruin things, not him.

We was going home today so I could distance myself from him a-little. We needed distance, time to think, time to process. So in other words I was going to completely ignore his existence. Because that's what I found the easiest option.

A small grunt came from his lips and I immediately looked down to him. He began to move slightly and I knew he was now awake.

"Good morning" I whispered. He opened his eyes and squinted at the lighting. He smiled when he saw me and placed a small kiss on my lips. His hand came up to my cheek and took it in his hand.

"Good morning mi amore" he whispered back. I smiled at his morning voice, it was so raspy and just, hot. "What time is it" he asked as his eyes got used to the light.

"6:53" I told him after looking at my phone. He yawned and got himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed. I watched as his back muscled flexed when he stretched. "We're leaving at 9am, is that okay with you amore?" he said to me and stood up. I gave him a brief nod and he headed for the bathroom.

I watched his every move until the bathroom door shut. It was like music to my ears but the eye version of that. But what music to my ears was his voice, the way he said my name.

I wish he'd stop calling me the names he did, because I know every time he does it makes me want him to fall in love with me. He wasn't making this easy.

- - - - -

We was boarding the plane, ready to go home, bags packed. And trust me, I was so ready to leave.

I had decided to wear white sweatpants shorts and a sage green crop top, it was comfortable for the flight home. I had my sage green converse on, gold jewellery and a small white shoulder bag. My hair was in a sage green claw clip and my makeup was light.

Christians hand was on my back as we got to the top of the plane, reading to get seated. It was the same private jet as last time. There wasn't as many men on the plane as last time but everyone was minding there own business on there phones or in a book.