Therapy (A James Cassells FanFiction)

Chapter 3: ''Run away like it was yesterday.''

James P.O.V.

The bright afternoon sun shined brightly upon the town. It was one of those days in which you just want to go outside for a walk with someone just to see the sun, the birds, just to feel the fresh air touching your face slowly, but I just couldn't. I was locked inside that room, which it was making me feel like a fucking mad. Probably was I.

I was wondering about a lot of things, since my first memorie until the last time I'd spoken with someone. And it was the moment I was thinking about Alice, but I was powerless. I just wanted the lonely inside of me to leave.

Sometimes, Heaven isn't that comfortable or that good as we, humans, can think about it. Sometimes, Hell can be better than your own home, than your life, even you can sit and feel good once you're there.

I guess this is a problem all humans have. We want to know about everything, but we don't even know ourselves, how we work on the inside, how we can react about something, how we really are.

''What do you want again?'' I mumbled when someone opened the door. I was upset, but I was upset with her, with myself.

''This is my job, James... I have to take care about you even if you don't want to, I'm sorry.'' She said whispering.

''Then I hate your job, you know? And trust me, I appreciate everything that you're doing because I know you're probably fed up, you're trying... But tell me, why did you drugged me the last day? Huh?'' And that was again my anger.

''I had to because you were having an anxiety attack, right? Look James, I'm here to help you like I told you the other day, and trust me, it isn't that easy as you can say or as you can think. Do you really think I'd do this for anyone? I'm trying this just for you, just because I fucking love you.''

''Well, you have to know we all die in the end, so why are you all so upset with me because I want out a bit earlier? Don't you know that I'm like a fucking ocean? That one minute I'm calm and the next one I'm like a fucking hell?'' We both were screaming, but luckily none was hearing because of the walls.

''I just can't, James. I can't deal with this anymore. I tried to see you a thousand times, I fucking tried! But they didn't let me, that's why I'm here, but I can't help you and that's my fault if you're here.'' She paused, she couldn't speak anymore because she was drowning into her own tears. ''I don't know what's wrong with me, James... I've tried everything, and I just want you to be okay, I want to make it home, but with you.'' She mumbled and I could tell she was broken as fuck.

And there we were, crying on the floor like two kids without their new toys, without know what to say to each other. The funny thing is all I ever wanted, I already had.

Twenty minutes paused and I decided to start again, but this time I was trying something new.

''Everything I've loved became everything I lost... And I don't want to lose you.'' I finally said. ''I was thinking too much about how I didn't want you to go away from me... I didn't want you to kiss you goodbye because I want to kiss you good night, good morning and everyday, and there's a lot of difference.''

What was I supposed to say? The room felt like it was on fire as she was thinking. Alice had her eyes closed, but the only thing I wanted to do was to hug her because I felt so bad about everything I said.

''That I'm staying quiet doesn't mean I have nothing to say, James... But I think things will get better if we see tomorrow.'' She whispered as she stood up. ''Maybe tomorrow I can take you to the garden for a walk, so we can talk about everything without this empty feeling, I don't know if you're getting me.'' I just nodded my head a little bit confused, but I took it as a simple sign of tiredness.

''I'm sorry, Alice.'' I mumbled.

''Doesn't matter, stay safe.'' She told me before she kissed my forehead, then she left the room.

A/N: Hey guys! I'm back with this new chapter of this fic and oh my gosh, I'm glad I've got someone who reads it. I'd like to thank you all because you inspire me and I hope you like it. Please, comment or vote if you like it or whatever, let me know!

Love you all xx