Therapy (A James Cassells FanFiction)

Chapter 14: ''The Final Episode, let's change the channel.''

A/N: I really want to cry right now. This is the previous chapter before the end of this fanfiction and I'm going to miss this a lot, to be honest. Thank you so much again, you guys are amazing and I'm glad you've like the last chapter or at least the fanfic. Enjoy this, and remember (before you hate me again) that there's one more chapter left! xx

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I rolled out of the bed when I woke up from a nightmare. It was raining so hard and I could barely see the other side of the street clearly. Ben was sleeping peacefully because it was too early, almost 5AM. I sat on the chair next to the window to see the lightnings and the thunders that were forming quickly as the rain was falling like it was the end of the world. I was immersed with my own thoughts that I didn't realize someone was staring at me under the rain.

''James?'' I whispered when I recognized it was him. I went downstairs quickly and opened the door. ''Go home, you're crazy.'' I shouted looking at him.

''I wanted to apologize.'' He said walking towards me.

''It's 5 AM, James.'' I mumbled and he shrugged. ''You should rest before the tour.''

''Who cares?'' James said and kissed me. I pulled away quickly even know I felt something when he did, but I only looked down at the ground.

''I care, and I can't do that to Ben.'' I whispered.

''Then what was what you did to me?'' He asked and I shook my head.

''James, listen to me right now.'' I said and took his hands. ''You fucking cheated on me when I was travelling because you were high as fuck, right? So don't try to blame this on me, I wasn't the one who cheated.''

''This is fucking insane, Alice.'' He snorted.

''You know what is fucking insane?'' I asked with anger. ''The fact that you didn't tell me about it, the fact that I took care of you three fucking years when you just wanted to die and no one asked how I was, no one helped me but I still wanted to marry you because I was blind for you, James Cassells.'' I finally confessed. ''And I left because I thought you weren't going to remember me and you'd find another girl better than the shit I am, but now I see you didn't, you remember everything and it fucking hurts.''

''You could have asked for help.'' He mumbled.

''What? Ask for help? Please James,'' I laughed. ''No one wanted to help or they couldn't, and Ben was the only one who tried to help me even when you said you didn't want to stay with me.'' I shook my head. ''And the most fucking amazing thing is that I'll have to see you everyday on the tour because you're bandmate with my boyfriend and I'll get jealous if I see you with another girl around.''

''Your boyfriend?'' He asked amazed.

''Yes, my boyfriend.'' I replied.

''I bet I treated you better than he's doing.'' He chuckled.

''James, no fucking way.'' I shouted. ''I'm not going to let you talk about Ben like that because he cared about me since the first moment we met five years ago.''

''That's why you dated him first.'' He replied ironically.

''I dated you first because I fucking loved you and I'm still having feelings for you, that's the damn problem.''

''We can still be happy together.'' James mumbled.

''I know, but that's not how it works, James.'' I shrugged. ''I love you, James, you don't know how much I love you, but it did hurt so much.'' I whispered stroking his cheek.

''Alice...'' He whispered and hugged me. I rested my forehead on his chest.

''You just can't appear again like this in my life.'' I said sobbing. ''I won't be able to forget you even if I want to.''

''Run away with me.''

''I'm not okay, James.'' I looked into his eyes. ''Just kiss me for the last time and go away, please.''

''You can't ask me that.'' He sighed. ''I need you! Don't you understand?''

''I do because I need you too, but first is your band and your future, my love, I won't be the reason why you leave the band.'' I said.

''Please, Alice, I don't even give a fuck.'' He snorted.

''James, listen to me, please.'' I said taking his face between my hands. ''You all deserve better than me, you need a better girl who can give you a fucking family, and I'm not that girl like you're thinking. I'm just not.''

''But I want you.'' I felt my knees shaking when I heard him. I was weak, and James was my weakness.

''Remember that I love you, right?'' I mumbled crying, then I kissed him. ''This is goodbye, James.'' I said and again I kissed him, but this time it was the last I did.

''Come back.'' He said after a few minutes.

''Not now, James, not today, not tomorrow, not now.'' I mumbled and went back inside. I felt sick as I walked through the room and sat next to Ben, who opened his eyes when he felt me there.

''Who was it?'' Ben asked me.

''No one, Ben, just sleep.'' I sighed.

''Alice, I heard you shouting and you're crying, so don't lie to me.'' He whispered and placed a hand on my belly.

''It was James, right?'' I sobbed and put my hand over his.

''What did he want? It's time to be sleeping.'' He asked again.

''He wanted to come back to me, with our relationship and... Nothing.'' I said with fear. Ben's eyes turned a little bit red and they had anger, so much anger.

''Did he do what?'' Ben questioned.

''Ben, please.'' I sobbed shaking when he got up from the bed. I took his hand to stop him.

''Alice.'' He mumbled, but I ignored him. I felt more and more sick, so I ran to the bathroom, leaving Ben with a weird look on his face.

''Ben, can you come here, please?'' I shouted from the bathroom.

''What's wrong?'' He asked.

''I'm fucking bleeding, Ben.'' I mumbled sitting on the floor after vomit.

''Alice, maybe it's your period.'' I rolled my eyes and tried to stand up.

''Do you think it's my period if my vomit is fucking blood?'' I cried out again.

''Let's go to a fucking hospital right now.'' He said and got dressed quickly, grabbing my hand tightly to take me into the car.

''You have to go with the band, Ben.'' I said as I could.

''And you're bleeding, so I don't give a fuck.'' He said and looked at me. ''And if I see James right now, I'll kill him.''

''Ben, please.'' I mumbled when he started to drive.

''No fucking way.'' He whispered.

''Ben, calm the fuck down, we'll collide with another car if you keep driving like that!'' I screamed. Suddenly everything turned black when the car fell off the bridge we were driving to go to the hospital.

I opened my eyes when I felt water on my feet and legs. We were sinking into the lake that was near the hospital. I panicked when I couldn't open the doors of the car, but I did more when Ben was barely conscious next to me.

''Ben, look at me, please.'' I took his face between my hands, trying to make him look at me. ''We're drowning and we have to break the window if we want to survive.'' I said crying, but we were drowning too fast and I could barely hit the crystal with my arms.

''Alice, if we die, I want you to know that I love you.'' He mumbled and he kissed me.

''We're not going to die, I promise you.'' I cried out, but there was more water than air. Ben was barely alive and I... I was just staring at the scene, like I wasn't part of that or at least my mind.

And again, my last thought was James and not Ben like I was supposed to.