Love for Rent

x Essence x

The house felt so quiet when I woke up in the morning and didn't see Shahzaib in the room. Usually, he would be sleeping next to me or standing in front of a mirror, getting ready or coming from his walk, but he was nowhere to be found this morning. Did he leave the room after I went to sleep? I picked up my phone to call him, but stopped myself. Why was I doing it? What was this confusion? I put the phone away and went to the closet to grab my clothes before heading to the washroom to take a shower. I opened the drawer to look at the photos, but the pictures from Shahzaib's engagement were gone. I closed the drawer and went to the bathroom. 

Did I make the wrong decision to stay with him until he gets his father's assets? I didn't know Shahzaib too well, but I knew that he would have done the same thing for me from the little that I knew. Who else gives so much money to someone without knowing them? He gave me money with no questions when I needed it the most, and now I was simply returning the favor. It was important for me to go see Ma be and be with her during her surgery, which was planned to take place in a few weeks. How was I going to manage this double life? I closed my eyes and rested against the marble wall as the water from the shower poured on me.

Suddenly, I heard the doorknob turning, and I screamed to stop whoever was trying to enter the washroom.

'Oh, sorry,' I heard Shahzaib from outside. I turned off the showered, dressed quickly, and got out and bumped into him since he was standing just outside the door.

'Sorry,' I said and moved away from me when we both moved in the same direction, running into each out again.

'I thought you would be watering the plants' He shifted to the side to head towards the closet.

'What?' I questioned him, not understanding what he meant. I went to the dresser and put on some bangles and my earrings.

'You don't shower around this time,' I heard him say, and I turned quickly to look at him, dropping one of my earrings. I picked it up from the ground and saw him facing me. Did he know my schedule?

'Kajal' He spoke again. I was too stunned by his comment that I didn't know what to say. When I didn't say anything, he came towards me and picked up one of my kohl pencils from the dresser.

'It looks nice' He handed me the pencil and went to the washroom before I could say anything. My heart was beating so much. In my twenty-nine years of life, I had never felt anything like this. I looked at the mirror and saw my cheeks turning crimson. I kept holding on to the kohl pencil, not sure if I should put it on or not. I was about to put it, but then I remembered what I told myself last night. Marriage was not for me. The commitment didn't mean anything; this was a deal. I had to keep reminding myself of this. Even if being around him made me restless, even if I waited for him, I had to keep a distance from him. I put away the kohl pencil and went outside the room.

'Why don't you resize it?' Kanwal pointed at the ring which I was wearing in a chain. It was the ring which Shahzaib gave me.

'It's fine,' I said to her while texting Jaan, telling him about my plan to visit Karachi for a few days. He also had a piece of good news, he was finally getting married. I booked my tickets to Karachi to spend time with Ma and give myself some break from Shahzaib. It was the perfect time to visit my home.

'Shahzaib' Kanwal called him when he passed us in the living room to pick up Saif from school.

'Why don't you get her the right size ring?' She said to him before I could stop her.

'It's fine really, I don't like wearing rings anyway,' I told him immediately.

'Come with me' He looked directly at me.