Love for Rent

x Past x

I never thought my past would come haunting me years later. I was getting ready to meet Shahzaib, and while pulling things from my closet, a USB fell out. Even the sight of that USB sent chills down my spine. I still didn't know why I had it. I should have crushed it, burned it, and buried it to the ground, but the day I brought it home, I threw it in my closet out of anger and never looked at it again until now. I picked up the USB with shaky hands and stared at it, and all the nightmares came rushing into my mind. I told Ma everything except this incident.

I was desperate, and we needed the money, and I went to the wrong person. This happened just as I finished metric; Ma lost her job and struggled to pay the rent. There was hardly any money to put food on the table. Out of desperation, I asked one of my teachers if he had any jobs that I could do, and he sent me to his cousin's shop, telling me I could make quick cash. I didn't know what it meant. There was hardly any time to think, but I went there. The teacher's cousin was a photographer and said if I let him take some pictures of me, he would pay me good cash. He told me to hurry, and I panicked and did what he told me. First, he asked me to change into different clothes and get ready, and when I got ready and started posing, he asked me to remove my top then my bra. He forced himself on me when I declined, and I hit him and ran off. I complained about the teacher, but no one believed me, and they harassed me instead, saying that I was accusing him and trying to be a victim because he was a highly respected teacher. I was forced to apologize to the teacher who sent me to hell. My hate for men grew even more because of him. Months later, I ran across the same guy who took my pictures, and the next day I found the USB in front of my door with a video of me changing, naked. I had the urge to go and kill him, but we had far important to deal with, like looking for a new place to live with less rent, applying for college, and helping Ma find work.

My phone buzzed, and I picked up Shahzaib's call.

'Hi,' I cleared my throat as my tears stung in my eyes.

'What's wrong?' He must have sensed something.

'Nothing' I sat on the bed.

'I am going to be late. I have a meeting with the camera crew; you want to come over?' He asked after a pause.

'Sure,' I agreed.

'I'll send you a ride,' He offered.

'Okay,' I smiled; no one cared for me like him.

'Are you sure everything is okay?' He asked, turning on the camera on the call. I quickly cleaned my face and answered his call with a filter on.

'You don't believe me' I laughed lightly when I saw him sitting on the sofa. He finally had some furniture in his house. He asked me for suggestions, and I joked by saying that he should get a yellow sofa, and he did.

'You found the sofa,' I pointed out, and he smiled.

'What else did you get?' I asked him when I caught his smile disappearing as he looked at me carefully.

'Were you crying?' He changed the subject and focused on me, and I shook my head to say no.

'Does it hurt?' I touched the side of my jaw where he got hurt last night. He shook his head to say no.

'Were you crying?' He asked again, and I stared at him. I wanted to tell him everything about me, but I was scared. That happened in the past, and I told no one, but I still carried its baggage, but he also had his share of problems. My problems didn't have to be his.

'It's good to cry sometimes' I didn't want to lie to him and make him more worried now that he knew me a little too well.

'Come over and talk to me,' He almost pleaded.