Love for Rent

x Drive Me x

'What are you smiling about?' Ma asked me when she spotted me stirring a pot of daal in the kitchen the next day. This evening I was going to Jaan's engagement party. Ma wanted to stay home, so I asked one of her friends to join us for dinner to keep her company.

'Nothing, I saw a funny video,' I told her as I tried to dodge her suspicious glance. She walked over to me and touched my face, turning me to face her.

'I know this look, I may be old, but I am not blind' A slow smile crept her face, and I couldn't keep myself from smiling either. After a long time, I felt like something good was happening about to happen. After meeting with Shahzaib in his apartment, he brought up doing his movie again, and we went over the script together. After reading the script, I knew I had to do his film. His team had already started working with the set-up, so we decided after Ma's surgery, we would tell her the truth about our relationship and come clean before starting the movie. We still had some time, but I accepted the offer and couldn't wait to start. My life was coming together nicely after facing many trials, and I was thankful that I had someone like Shahzaib, who was patient with me. He was more emotionally available than I am, and I was more practical, but we shared our personalities well with each other. Who knew one day I'd be feeling like this about a man. He changed my perspective on relationships. I realized I didn't have to see relationships as a burden. Once you find a good person, it can actually be a good thing.

'Tell Suraiya Aunty I will be meeting with a doctor she told you about. I have met someone,' I announced as I couldn't keep this in secrecy and pretend I wasn't in love with someone. Ma was smart; before she found out, I wanted to tell her at least this much, so she could stop searching for eligible bachelors for me.

'Who is it?' She inquired, looking into my eyes with countless questions resting in her waiting stare. I turned off the stove and walked her to the living room so we could sit and talk about it in detail.

'I met someone at the wedding, Jaan introduced me to him...I like him,' I started. She didn't say anything, but it wasn't hard to tell that she was concerned from the look on her face.

'He knows about me; I told him everything. I don't know how to explain it but liking him wasn't hard at all...he apologizes for things, remembers things about me even things that I don't notice, lets me speak my mind, and sometimes we don't agree on things. However, he is still there...he doesn't just leave...he lost his parents at a young age but he is still not bitter; he treats people well. He stands up for the right things. I was scared to admit this to myself. Still, when I actually think about my life and my future, I see him there,' I confessed to her. At the same time, my mind kept playing the conversation I had with Shahzaib earlier and how resting my head against his chest felt like once I was ready to share my feeling with someone else, I was okay with falling apart in front of him. I remember I cried in his arms, repeating his words where I said our marriage is not just a facade, it's real. He held me protectively in his arms, and I felt safe. He made me feel like I could trust people.

'What's his name?' She asked after we both looked at each other in silence.

'Shahzaib,' I gulped. Even saying his name out loud made my heart race.

'I have never seen you like this' She caressed my face gently, and I rested my face on her hand.

'I'd like to meet him,' She added.

'Of course, he wants to meet you too,' I told her happily as I secured my hand over hers.

'You are okay, right? I wanted to tell you sooner, but I just didn't know...I tried to compress my feelings towards him, but I couldn't...I don't want to do that anymore...he feels like home,' I explained to her as I struggled to find the right words to make her understand how I felt about him. I hoped to God she would look at me and just gets it. Get that he is the only one there will be for. I won't be able to give my heart to anyone other than him.

'I would have understood even with just the way you said his name' Her eyes gleamed with tears, and her face lit up in joy. I smiled widely and hugged her tightly.

'I think it's more than just a like' She giggled, and I got tongue-tied. She pulled back slightly and waited for my response.

'It's more than alike, right?' She nodded, encouraging me to speak. I nodded without hesitation, and my heart struggled there for a moment.

'It sounds love,' She confirmed with assurance in her voice. I took a deep breath and told her some things about Shahzaib, so she knew about him a little better. The major truth about our marriage had to wait until Ma's operation. I didn't want her stressing out.

I struggled to pick my outfit later in the evening for Jaan's engagement party. My room was a mess, and there were clothes for everyone. Some were old and had ripped, while others were too big on me now since I had lost a couple of pounds in the few weeks since I was running around one place to another with Shahzaib. I was picking and choosing when my phone rang, and I saw Shahzaib's name on the screen. I answered the call in a heartbeat and brought the phone to my ears, waiting for his voice.

'Hi,' His warm voice did something funny in my stomach.

'Hi' I anwered with a smile.

'I'll see you tonight,' I heard him say. It sounded more like a question.

'You have asked me this a couple of times already today; yes, you will see me,' I told him.

'It's evening already, and I don't see you,' He said in a missing voice, making me chuckle.

'Where are you?' I asked him, looking at the time. There were still three hours before the function started.

'I was helping at the venue, I got just back...call me when you're ready, and I will come to pick you up,' He told me.

'No, it's fine, I will come by myself,' I replied. I didn't want to tire him.

'It wasn't an offer. I want to pick you up,' Shahzaib said in a bossy tone. I usually didn't like men talking like that, but when he talked to me like I was his and wanted to take care of me, I liked his authority.

'Fine, but you will have to wait before I didn't get a chance to buy a new dress, and now I am struggling to fit a proper outfit,' I said.

'You look like in everything and nothing, except one of this is just for me,' He spoke, and my jaw hit the floor with his comment.

'Bye' My breath hitched, my mouth still hanging open as I ended the call. My face got warm the feeling I had in my stomach elevated even more. He was seriously going to make me mad. After speaking to him, I sat in silence for a few minutes to calm the jumpy nerves after hearing his last words. No one had ever said such things to me. I felt so ashamed. I didn't know how I would make eye contact with him. I knew he wanted to flatter me, but it had a different effect on me. I knew what he was trying to do, he knew how these conversations made me uncomfortable and shy, but tonight I was going to make him regret it. I had to bring out the black saree. If he wanted to drive me insane, then I'd drive him mad too.  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

:D