My Triplets

Ch. 5

Finally, we've got everything from the house ready to be shipped for the kids to look through when they're ready.

The lawyer had met us at the house to make sure that we took the things she specified in her will and took the other things she left to others. He also gave me a box that he said had more letters from Violet that were supposed to be about the kids growing up.

Now we're on the plane and the kids are trying to sleep on the couches. I'm staring at the letter that Mr. Pomme gave to me when I first met him.

She supposedly explains some things to me in it, but I'm scared. It could tell me that the kids hate me for what I've done to them or that she always loved me. I just... I couldn't handle knowing how badly I broke her. Maggie made it obvious that she had been broken when they met because of what I did.

Hmm. Ok. I have to do this. I have to open it. I move from the main cabin to a bedroom in the back, so my emotions can be open.

James,

I've been diagnosed with cancer. They've already made me write a will and sign all the documents necessary. With that said you won't see this letter unless things go bad and I don't make it, but I decided that you will get the kids. They've asked me often enough about you that they deserve this chance.

If I am still healthy and this last resort isn't needed, they won't find out who you are until they are 16. At that point it will be their decision on whether they know you or not. I haven't told them anything about you other than we had our problems, but you love them anyways. Please do not push them away like you did to me.

Trust in my skills to raise them and your own parenting instincts, they are good kids.

Love,

Violet

She trusts me. She really trusted me. And I fucked that up. Dammit! I slam fist on the wall in anger. Now she's dead I can never make it up to her.

"Fuck." I sob quietly. "She had cancer and I left her all alone to face that. I left her all alone to raise three kids. I left her to tell them why I wasn't around. Fuck."

Ok. I'll make it up to her through the kids. I'll trust them and make sure that they feel loved.

A few hours later we arrived at my house. The kids seem a little awestruck by the size of it but it's a standard 4 bedroom home. Violet had wanted a home just the right size for our family and she wanted 3 kids, so she went looking for a cozy place to make home.

Since she's left it's felt extremely empty, but maybe that will change now that there are 3 kids running around.

"Ok kids, how about we order some pizza for dinner and play some games tonight?" I ask them as we enter the house.

The triplets look to each other having one of those mental conversations, then Storm steps forward, "We are really tired sir. I think we'd rather just go to bed."

A flash of disappointment rips through my chest, but I hide it from them as I nod my head in agreement. "Of course. Let me show you to your rooms."

Leading the trio upstairs, I point out my room to them and then show each of them the rooms I set aside for them to choose among themselves. I've got to say my interior decorator did a great job making the rooms more childlike. They each loved their new rooms, but somehow they all ended up in Killian's room.

After they were all situated, I told them that there will be pizza if they get hungry and go downstairs. Grabbing a beer from the kitchen I drop onto the couch in exhaustion.

God it's only been one fucking day with these kids and I'm already looking forward to the nanny taking over. Got to admit, it stung when they said no to playing games with me. I just wanted to get to know them better. I mean they literally slept the entire plane ride and they're still tired. And what is with them calling me sir all the time.

I sigh tiredly and turn the TV on, looking for anything to numb my brain enough to relax.

Fuck... Today has taken so long!

"Guess I fell asleep." I groan sitting up from my lying position on the couch. It's past 1. Well I should get to bed. I stand up to head to my bedroom when I notice the pizza box sitting on the coffee table in front of me. Oh, I guess I should put the pizza away first.

A few extra slices are missing, so I assume the triplets took some while I was asleep. Good, they at least got themselves some food before bed.

Trudging up the stairs, I peek in Storm's room, only to find her missing. Fear clenches my stomach and it feels as if my heart is going to burst, but I take deep breaths to calm myself. They must have had a sleepover over in Killian's room, I reason with my brain.

Peaking into Killian's bedroom, I find it empty yet again and the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach grows stronger. I don't even try to reason with myself before rushing over to River's door. Peering into the dark room, I make out three lumps, laying on the bed on top of the comforter.

Aww they look so sweet. I quickly pull my phone out and snap a pic of the cuddly trio for my new home screen. Then I grab a blanket from the foot of the bed to lay over each of them.

After making sure they're comfortable, I move down to my room to collapse on my bed. Sleep calls to me teasingly, but no matter how hard I try to reach for it, it manages to avoid me every time, till finally it's 5 am and I give up trying to sleep entirely.

I've been staring at the box of letters from Violet all night. I wonder what she wrote down for me. Giving in to my curiosity, I pull the box onto my bed and flip it open. All the letters are organized neatly with dates written in Violet's flowy script. Quite a few are dated within the first few years after she left, but then they distance themselves to once or twice a year.

Snatching the first one out of the front, I carefully open it trying not to destroy the envelope.

Dear James,

I know I'm keeping the baby away from you, but if you ever do find out about them you should at least get an idea of their lives, so I decided to write letters to you telling you what they did.

Today is my first ultrasound and I'm so nervous. I wish you and I could have done this together, but you don't trust me. It didn't matter how many times I proved my loyalty to you, you still accused me of cheating again and again. I even wore that stupid necklace so you knew where I was the whole time. At least now I get my family.

Love,

Violet

PS They're triplets!

I shouldn't have opened this. This... this pain. I put her through so much and still she was thinking about me, about how I should at least know something about our children. She couldn't even stop herself from writing love even if she did cross it out.

She still loved me and I pushed her out.

Dark spots begin appearing on the paper in front of me, but I don't know how. How could water be leaking and I'm not feeling it drip on my head? ... Wait. Slowly I lift my hand to right under my eyes to feel the tears falling. Quickly I move the paper away from me and try to dry my tears.

Her letters can't be ruined. They just can't. They are all I have left from the love of my life. Sure the triplets will remind me of her from time to time, but they will never be as purely her as these letters and I refuse to tarnish them.

Glancing at the time once more, I see that it's already 8 o'clock. Well I should head downstairs and start on breakfast for the kids and me. Sighing I stand up and move to the kitchen ready for some strong coffee before I even attempt cooking something.