My Triplets

Ch. 35

“I love you Dad, don’t leave me.” a quiet whisper comes from Killian who is snuggled into my side.

A small tear streaks down my face. That’s the first time any of them have ever said it to me. I’ve been telling them for months now, but… this… this is the first time one of them has said it to me. My heart feels full and a small ray of hope shines, but soon logic takes over.

Fuck. How do I make them go with Maggie and make it feel like I’m not abandoning them? How do I make sure they know I love them?

Soon drowsiness takes over my head and my eyes become heavy. “I’ll always be with you son. I love you.” I whisper back before I welcome the land of dreams.

A small poke to my side awakens my brain, but I don’t open my eyes.

"See he's not going to wake up." Killian whispers. "Even if he does, it's not that big of a deal."

“Killian, why do you trust him?” River’s voice asks demandingly.

Killian, who is still sitting on my bed based on the weight, replies with anger, "He's our Dad!"

"Yeah the Dad who basically sold us out!" Storm scoffs.

"You both know that's not true. You wouldn't have accused him of giving up otherwise." Killian spits venomously.

"Do you really think he won't get us hurt again?" River's voice still sounds angry, but there's a touch of sadness underneath it.

A weight lifts off of my bed as Killian stands. "We're always going to get hurt. That's life. I mean look at mom. She was in pain for years dealing with cancer. No matter what happens it is always going to hurt."

Is that really how he sees the world? My poor son!

"Doesn't mean we need to let it happen." River sneers.

“That’s true, so why don’t we save ourselves the pain of losing both of our parents within a year and force him to keep us? You may not trust him, I know that you still love him.” KIllian states in this confident voice.

I can’t believe these are ten year olds. They sound so grown up.

River’s voice darkens as if he’s pissed, “Love. I’ve never once told that guy I love him. He doesn’t deserve it.”

A tightness squeezes my chest. He’s right though. Last night was the first time any of them had said they loved me. I don’t deserve their love or their trust.

“Doesn’t deserve it. Doesn’t deserve it. What the heck do you mean he doesn’t deserve it!?! Can’t you see how much he’s done for us? Just look at the guy! He hadn’t slept since we were taken. Dad was even baking our favorite cookies the whole time we were gone because he wasn’t allowed to help. Last night, he was literally crying in the bathroom until we woke up from our nightmares.” Killian rants angrily.

They shouldn’t be fighting like this. Not over me. I can’t be the reason my triplets fight.

Groaning, I turn over in bed to warn them I’ll be waking up soon. The trio quiets almost immediately and slowly I blink my eyes open adjusting to the light.

“Good morning. How long have you three been awake? Not long I hope.” I rasp in my morning voice.

Storm and River cautiously walk back to the wall, but Killian jumps in my arms. “Morning Dad. We’ve been up for like half an hour. I thought you’d need sleep since you looked like the walking dead last night. Can we order some pancakes from room service? OOh or can we go to Denny’s?”

Aww he wants to go there like that first morning when I totally failed at cooking!

I grab my phone to check the time and see a message from G, All clear.