Salvaging Family (SBI Angst)

11: Tommy

I hid in my room shortly after the fight. I kept imagining my parents fighting, and how powerless I felt. I couldn't stand feeling so out of control, and then I remembered something that Wilbur had said at one point...

"Cutting helps me regain control. Cutting helps me forget."

That was it! That's what I'd do. Just one problem though, I was far too afraid to actually cut myself. So I will need an alternative method...

I rushed over to the bathroom and turned the faucet as hot as it would go, and waited for the heat to really kick in. Then I stuck my hand under the water. It burned so badly that my first instinct was to pull my hand back, away from the danger. But at the same time, the pain really had helped with ending the flashback... I stuck my hand back in, for longer this time. It felt oddly comforting. I pulled my hand away after another minute so there wouldn't be any real damage. This felt weird and wrong. I wanted to talk to someone, but who?

Maybe Phil? He would understand, wouldn't he? As long as I didn't say too much, I think that'd be fine. I picked up my phone and dialed Phil. I waited as it rang a few times, thinking about what I was going to say.

"Hey mate."

"Hi Phil!" I wonder if he noticed the poor condition of my voice from all the crying and yelling. If he did, he didn't say anything.

"So what's up?"

"Um... I need to talk to you."

"Go ahead."

"I did... something. It felt really weird and kinda bad, but also good? I don't know, I just... feel off."

"I see..."

"I did it because Techno and Wil got into a pretty bad fight earlier. I was really scared."

"A fight? Like, a physical one?"

"Yeah..."

"Tommy, how badly did they get hurt?"

"I don't know, but Wil started yelling for Techno to stop, and then he ran away. It's okay though."

"That's not okay, Tommy. How often does this kind of thing happen?"

"I mean, they fight like nearly every day, but it's really not a big deal!" I was getting desperate. Had I said too much?

"It most certainly is a big deal. Do their fights get physical often?"

"Not really... it's mostly just verbal stuff."

"What kind of 'verbal stuff'?"

"Like 'I hate you' and 'nobody likes you'." My voice caught in my throat.

"Tommy, I'm coming over right now."

"No, no, no, no, Phil! You don't need to do that! We're okay here, really!"

"I'll be there tomorrow evening."

"No please-!"

The call ended. What did I just do? Wilbur and Techno we're going to be so mad at me! I shouldn't have called Phil. I should have just kept it to myself. But enough moping. I have to go tell my brothers my mistake, so they'll be ready. Maybe they'll be less mad if I just tell them up front and they don't have to find out by Phil's unannounced arrival.

I crept down the stairs and saw Techno eating, which was kind of a shock at this point. He hardly eats anymore. And he definitely usually doesn't eat this much... He was eating a lot for one sitting.

"Techno?"

"Yes, Tommy?" He seemed annoyed.

"Sorry, I just, um, made a mistake. I accidentally said too much to Phil and now he's coming over-"

"YOU WHAT?!"

"I'm sorry!"

"WHAT THE FUCK TOMMY? WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I- I just- I told him about y-your fight..." He was scaring me.

"Why would you do that?! You know you can't tell anybody about this stuff!" At least he wasn't screaming anymore.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't cut it Tommy. I don't even wanna see you for the rest of the night."

With that, he jumped up and ran into the bathroom. I could hear him throwing up from here. That couldn't be healthy... but there was nothing more I could do. It's better to just stay upstairs until Phil gets here, I think.