20: Tommy

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Today is February 17, 2021. It has been exactly 3 years since Techno died. I'd like to say that things have been perfect since then, but that would just be a blatant lie. It's been really hard, especially with the pandemic. But, I've had Phil every step of the way, and that makes things much easier.

Wilbur still hasn't really recovered from Techno's death. I worry about him. I've tried to tell him that there's hope for him, and he just needs to accept help, but he doesn't want to hear it. He feels like this is all his fault, especially since it was that last fight that finally put Techno over the edge. I really wish he could see that it's not his fault. I'd give anything to make him see that.

We ended up telling everyone about what happened a few days after the fact. That was the hardest part, because it meant that I had to accept that Techno was really gone. He wasn't ever coming back. I cried a lot that day, but thankfully everyone was really supportive! It really cheered me up to see all of their kind messages.

I still really miss Techno. I wish he was here. I wish he could see me now. Would he be proud? I hope he would. I wish I could talk to him one last time, just to show him how far I've gotten. I loved him. I loved him more than anything else in the world. He was my big brother. He always will be, even if he's gone now.

I'm much happier than I've ever been now. I like to thank Techno for that. If it weren't for him, I'd probably still be stuck in that rut, getting worse and worse every single day. He saved me. And so, I honor his memory by fighting back  as hard as I can. I have to live for him.

I have to do him justice.

That's what he'd want.

I won't let him down this time.

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