Salvaging Family (SBI Angst)

17: Techno

I listened quietly to Phil comforting both Tommy and Wilbur. I didn't want to admit it, but I was waiting for him to come to me. It really did feel nice when he just sat with me and let me cry it out.

But he didn't come. Maybe he thought I'd do better if I had some space. Whatever, it shouldn't matter. Right? Except that it did. It bothered me a lot. It felt like he didn't really care about me. He was here for the others. I was annoying him, wasn't I? I knew it. I knew I was just a waste of space. I knew he didn't really care. I can't believe I ever thought anybody cared about me. I'm all alone. Nobody loves me. Nobody would notice if I just died.

So maybe I should. Maybe I should just end it all. It would be so easy. I'd finally have my sweet release I'd always wanted. It would be so easy too. I could just leave now. Who'd even notice? Not Phil, that's for sure.

And so, I grabbed a pen and scrawled out a few quick letters. I always knew what I'd write for a letter like this.

Dear Tommy,

Words cannot describe how sorry I am. I've failed you as an older brother. I'll always hate myself for that. Please forgive me, for everything. I know I fucked up really bad, but please move on. I love you so much. You deserve everything.

Sincerely,
Techno, your favorite failure :)

Dear Wilbur,

It feels like you and I have always been at each other's throats. I know I make you mad a lot. I heard you crying earlier over me. I'm sorry. Please don't cry over me ever again. I'm not worth it. You should be happy. Please go be happy.

Love,
Techno <3

And finally...

Dear Phil,

I don't really know why I'm writing a letter to you in particular, but here goes nothing. Thank you for trying, even if you didn't really mean it. You made me feel safe for the first time in many years. I won't forget that. Please take care of Wil and Tommy for me. They'll need it. They love you. You guys will be okay as long as you're together.

Sincerely,
Technoblade

Perfect. I meticulously picked up the letters, then took one final look around my room. A single tear fell from my eye as I realized that this was, hopefully, the last time I'd see it. This room had given me do much safety and comfort over the course of one year, but also much sorrow and hatred. It had been my one true home. I hoped it would remember me.

With that, I calmly stepped outside and descended the stairs. I put my letters on the kitchen counter, where I knew Phil would first find them. He was the only one who used that counter, after all. I nodded as a sort of acknowledgement to the house, then for the final time. It was nice knowing you, world, but it's time for me to go now.

Goodbye.