Between the Lies

38| Purgatory

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Purgatory

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Chapter 38: Purgatory (Aaron's POV)

We reached the bed and I sat her down, sliding her heels off, letting them drop to the floor. I kissed her while she slowly moved back on the bed without breaking it. I went to undo the buttons of my shirt but found her hands already there and working on them. "Vanessa," I mused, "you want it bad." 

"I thought we already established that," she huffed, pushing the shirt past my shoulders. 

I took it off, throwing it onto the floor before reaching for the pants. I had to break the kiss and move off the bed to push them off but she was right there, kneeling at the foot of the bed, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling my lips back to hers. We kissed like that for a while, neither one of us daring to break it and ruin the moment or shatter the spell. I tightened my hold on her hips, pulling her against me even harder. 

She let out a soft moan against my lips and I damn near lost my mind. 

I have never wanted anything in this world as badly as I wanted Vanessa Juliette Griffin. I wanted to kiss her all the time, even as I kissed her, all I thought about was kissing her. I wanted to kiss her until I was sick of it, until I was dying, until my very last breath... I wanted to be with her. 

"Aaron," she mumbled against my lips before pulling away and resting her forehead against mine. "Aaron, I think I—"

"I love you, Vanessa," I cut her off, beating her to it. "I fucking love you." 

She stared at me, catching her breath. 

"I think I've always been a little in love with you. But I love you today more than I loved you yesterday. And I'll love you tomorrow more than I love you today. I love you so much. So much that sometimes I think it's a punishment, sometimes I think it's a blessing." 

"Aaron..." 

"I have to say it. Sometimes I think you'll be the death of me. My damnation, maybe. And sometimes I think you'd be my punishment in purgatory. But then I think that would be a reward..." 

Her lips twitched and she cracked a smile, then a small smile. "I have never in my life heard someone use the word purgatory to confess their love." 

"Well, there's a first time for everything. I never thought I'd use the word purgatory to tell you I love you. But then again, I never thought I'd be capable enough to love you at all. I love you. More than I know I do." 

She smiled, biting down on her bottom lip, and then rested her arms around my neck. "I love you," she whispered. "So much more than I think I do. And I already think I love you a lot. Aaron, I love you. I want to do all the things we've done back in New York. I want to kiss you without an audience, I want to hold your hand even when we're alone. One day, I want to quit my job and travel the world with you. And then put up all our pictures on the fridge in our apartment." 

I smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

"I love you. Even if you're my damnation, even if you're my punishment in purgatory," she chuckled, struggling to hold in a laugh. "I want to be with you for as long as you will have me. And I know... I know you don't believe in always. But you said I can be your first and last always, right?"