'Till the End of Time - Bucky Barnes x OC - Eng.

Twenty-eight

A/N: ⚠️TW⚠️ Mention of self-injurious behavior and suicide attempt.
It is 'only' mentioned in these chapters, as mentioned, and it is not elaborated on.

Song recommendation: Lzzy Hale feat. Lindsay Stirling - Shatter me

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August 1944, Siberia

By now she had been in captivity at Hydra for almost 10 months.
Every time she saw Bucky it broke her heart, only his shell was visible, his eyes were lifeless and empty.

In the beginning, they often locked her in a room with Bucky to control the strength of his brainwashing. Rose was often a kind of trigger so that the Winter Soldier could remember her, himself and their common past.
However, it usually took a little while for his memories to kick in, and by the time they did, he tried to kill her every time.

She had rarely fought back, she was done with her life and didn't care if she lived or died.
This was no life, this was the purest torture.

She had found out at the beginning of the year that she was pregnant.
She didn't want the baby, not under these circumstances.
Hydra had unfortunately gotten wind of it and so she was now sitting in a kind of padded cell, with no way to end it all.

She didn't know if the baby was Bucky's or the soldier who had abused her, because backwards it overlapped. In the end, however, it would not change the whole situation.

Now she sat there, in her padded cell in this stifling silence with her thoughts going around in circles.

It was soon so far she could feel it. Her abdomen, which was now a real ball, had been getting hard as a rock lately, and the doctors who examined her regularly and were relatively friendly had explained to her that these were training contractions.

Two days later she was awakened in the night by pain in her abdomen and lower back, pain that she had never felt before. It was immediately clear to her that it was about to start.

Surprisingly, the birth was without complications. She had given birth to a healthy baby girl.
The first months she was allowed to keep the little girl with her and take care of her. Although it was actually forbidden to her, she had given the little one a name. She called her Ava, the name meant 'the strong one' and the little creature was the epitome of strength.
Judging by her eyes, Bucky was the father, for she had bright blue eyes.

Rose tried as hard as she could and her heart would allow to keep her distance because she knew that as soon as the little one was strong enough and could eat, she would be torn away from her.

When little Ava was eight months old, that day came that would leave a hole in Rose's heart for all eternity. A nurse entered the room and, screaming, snatched little Ava from her. That was the last time she had seen her.

After that she was further trained, had training sessions with Bucky and was turned into a killing machine.

The loss of little Ava hurt her so much that she even tried to take her own life once. She had rammed a combat knife into her own neck during a training session, unsuccessfully. All she remembered of that day and the loss was the 5 to 10 centimeter long scar on her neck that she saw every time she looked at herself in the mirror.

After trying, Hydra also decided to fry her brain. Regularly she got on the chair and went through hellish pain. Until that day when she accepted her fate and became the killing machine Hydra expected her to be.

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2019

Rose had told Bucky everything, tears rolling down her face but Bucky just sat beside her as if made of stone, chewing on his lower lip and staring holes in the air.