lemon and mint | Charles Leclerc

21.

April 2014

"I think I made myself clear. You won't go with us to Spain. You should focus on school," Sebastian said to the young Italian in front of him. He understood that she wanted to travel with them, but school should be her priority.

"You can be angry as much as you want, but my word stands. Fix that grade from algebra, and then we can talk," Sebastian shouted at Pia when she took her jacket and walked to the garden.

She loved Seb, but sometimes he was so annoying. Pia wasn't used to being forbidden to do something. Anthonie never cared that much. He would just let her do whatever she wanted, and Pia liked that.

Pia made her way to the gazebo in their garden. It was one of the few spots where she couldn't be seen from the house, so she hid there quite often. Pia was taken aback when she noticed Joanna. She knew Joanna came there to visit Sebastian, but she did her best in avoiding her. She didn't really want to meet her since they weren't on the best terms with each other.

"Oh, hey," Pia greeted Joanna surprisedly because the young Italian didn't expect her there. She was just peacefully sitting on the bench. Pia couldn't help it, but Joanna looked a bit different. Something seemed off.

"Hey." That was it. She just simply greeted the youngster, and then there was a silence. Joanna didn't bother with starting the conversation. She came here to find a tiny bit of peace and not because she would want to fight with someone. So, she closed her eyes and listened to the birds singing.

"Whatever," Pia muttered for herself and rolled her eyes at Joanna. She didn't come here to have a delightful chat with the Austrian either. She didn't care about her presence at all. She just pulled the pack of cigarettes from her jacket and quickly lighted one.

The smell of cigarettes made Joanna open her eyes. She wanted to know where it was coming from. When she noticed it was Pia who caused this smell, she had to roll her eyes. "Can you stub it?" she asked her politely.

"Why? You're a smoker as well." The arrogance in her voice was clearly hearable. She was expecting Joanna to lecture her that smoking is shit. Pia wasn't really interested in another of Joanna's lectures. She still remembered the one from Monaco. She didn't want to hear 'cancel your pity party' again.

"I'm pregnant," Jo announced, and Pia started to laugh. She thought the Austrian was joking, but then she noticed her straight face. Joanna wasn't joking at all, making Pia stop her laughter.

"It's funny, no? And do you know what's even funnier? You're the only one to know," Jo admitted. She was alone with this little secret of her. That fact didn't bother her that much, after all, it wasn't her first secret to hide.

"What about Mark? You haven't told him?" This question took Joanna aback. She didn't know that anyone knew about her little rendezvouses with Mark. They didn't say about it to anyone, so how did Pia know?

"How do you...?" The question left Joanna's lips.

"Is that really what's bothering you right now?" Pia said with amusement in her voice. Pia learnt about their affair by accident, and she didn't really care about it. It was true that she didn't understand what Joanna saw at the whining Australian, but that wasn't any of her business.

"No, I haven't told Mark." Pia would normally ask what was the reason behind it, but she knew it was useless. If Joanna wanted to tell her, she would have already done so.

"You haven't told him, but you have told me. Why?" Pia questioned her. She didn't see a reason for doing it. Then she took a drag off a cigarette. She hadn't snubbed her cigarette even though Joanna asked her for it, but at least she tried to blow the smoke away from Joanna.

"I'm not stupid, Pia. I'm not interesting enough for you. Same as Daniel and Jules, or many other people." That left Pia speechless. Joanna really said that to her without any reason. She just wanted to confide in someone.

Joanna understood that Pia knew a lot. She was always interested in the gossip around the paddock. She probably knew the dirty secrets of most of the drivers, but she never decided to use it against them, unlike Anthonie or Niki. They were always so ready to hurt and manipulate someone else. They could start a club for shitty dads, Joanna thought.

"Will you keep it?" she asked quietly. She didn't mean to offend Joanna, but she just thought that keeping a baby would be foolish of the Austrian. She was having one of her best seasons with Ferrari. Giving birth to a child would mean she wouldn't be able to finish this season, and she probably wouldn't be able to start the next one either.

"I don't know," Joanna shrugged her shoulders. She always dreamt about a big family, but perhaps this wasn't the best timing for it. She wasn't ready to make this big decision yet.

"Mark won't get divorced," Pia announced. She had to look away from Joanna because she knew these words would hurt her, but there was no point in lying. Mark loved his wife too much to leave her. Joanna was someone who helped him when he was struggling, but his heart didn't belong to her.

"Do you think I don't know that?" she asked the youngster with tears in her eyes. She wanted to hope that he would get a divorce for her. She hoped that he'd be the father of her child, but she wasn't stupid. She knew that Mark was a selfish prick that loved his comfort more than anything, and getting a divorce meant discomfort.

Pia was surprised to see Joanna with tears streaming down her cheeks. She used to be Pia's role model. Anthonie always hoped Pia would be like Joanna one day - racing in Formula One, living her best life, but that didn't happen. Maybe if it happened, Anthonie wouldn't be such a shitty dad.

There was a piece of her that was jealous of Joanna. She was someone she should've been, but she just wasn't brave enough. Pia was too fragile for that sport. She wouldn't bear the pressure on her shoulders. Everyone around her knew that she had tremendous talent, but sometimes talent is not enough to make it work. Perhaps now, Pia finally understood that Joanna was too fragile for it all too. She noticed that Joanna had a hard time bearing that pressure on her shoulders. She finally realised that the Austrian didn't have everything under control as it seemed.

"It'll be okay, J. You're not alone." The Italian whispered into Joanna's ear. She dared to wrap arms around Joanna's torso, letting her feel that she wasn't alone. Perhaps, their first meeting wasn't the best, and they weren't particularly friends either, but Pia knew, how it felt to be completely alone. She didn't want anyone else to experience it, even though she had a feeling that Joanna had already experienced it many times.

"You deserve someone so much better. You deserve a call me anytime love, a pick you up from the airport love, a love note on napkins kind of love, a listening love, a love that takes care of you. You deserve a love that lasts." The Italian sadly smiled at the Austrian in front of her. They both knew that Mark wasn't this kind of love. He was 'get you pregnant and leave you alone kind of love'.

Pia didn't have anything else to add so, she quietly got up and made her way back to the house, leaving Joanna alone again. Well, perhaps, not completely alone this time.