lemon and mint | Charles Leclerc

~ tre ~

Monaco, April 2019

"Do you have a new place?" Pia asked her Aussie friend as he stopped the car in front of an apartment building unknown to her.

"Yeah, I moved like two years ago," he said without thinking about it too much, but his words somehow hit Pia. She was so ashamed she didn't visit Daniel in such a long time. They were always meeting at her parents' house in Switzerland. Coming to Monaco was somehow taboo for her. She wasn't afraid to go there any longer, but she also didn't feel the urge to go. "I couldn't stay at that old apartment," he added. They both knew why he wasn't able to stay there. He lived there with Jules.

Pia placed her hand on his shoulder and caressed it lightly. "I get it. Someone else will create new memories there." Perhaps Daniel made a good decision when he decided to sell that apartment. It was a place filled with his memories with Jules. That's for sure, but maybe it was time to let that go. Maybe it was time for him to create new memories with someone new.

"That is not possible," Daniel sighed and looked away from the young Italian. Pia realised only rain was missing to this scene look like from a romantic movie. Two lovers were sitting in the car, talking about their problems while it rained. So poetic, but this wasn't a romantic movie. If it was, Pia would be seated in the back seat because Jules would sit in front.

"What? Why?" she asked him confusedly.

"I haven't sold it. I just moved out. I couldn't live there, but I couldn't let that place go either," Daniel explained. "Also, I didn't know what to do with Jules' things, so I just keep them there," he added. Pia just realised how much he had to suffer. She wondered how often he was going to that apartment.

"Do you go there often?" she dared to ask. It was already a long time ago from Jules' death, but that didn't mean it hurt less. Pia even doubted the pain would ever go away.

"More than I should," he wasn't afraid to admit his true feelings to Pia. He understood that they shared pretty much similar emotions. He wasn't even that surprised when Sebastian told him that Pia tried to kill herself. He didn't expect it, but he understood her. He wanted to do the same thing after all.

"Does that make it any better?" she asked him while placing her hand on top of his. She squeezed it as a sign of support. He wasn't the only one who felt like that.

"No. Not at all," Daniel said and leaned his head on her shoulder. Pia could hear Daniel's loud gulp. He clearly tried to control his emotions.

"Joanna... Joanna said to me," he started his sentence, but then he stopped himself. Would telling her that Jules' crash was a suicide change anything? He didn't want another person to suffer as much as he did. Furthermore, he was well aware that if Pia knew about it, she would never talk to Joanna again.

"What did Joanna tell you?" Pia wanted him to finish what he started.

"Nothing."

"Daniel," she said in a warning tone.

"She said to me that I should sell that apartment." It wasn't a lie. Joanna really did say this to him. Perhaps, she was right. He knew he couldn't keep that apartment forever. He knew that throwing out Jules' things could help him.

"Do you want to sell it?" she asked him. She wouldn't be able to sell it either. She would probably keep it till the end of her life, and she was pretty sure it was Daniel's plan.

"No." There it was - an answer Pia expected.

There they were - two people with broken hearts, sitting in a car in front of an apartment building talking about their shits. It was pathetic.

"It seems like things with Charles got a bit out of hand after that incident," Daniel dared to say. They hadn't really talked about it before, but he could see that.

"I needed to let him go. It was my decision. I think he has a better partner now." Pia was talking about Charlotte. She seemed to be the perfect fit for Charles. Charlotte was sweet, innocent, well-behaved, sporty, and supportive of whatever was Charles doing. She was that perfect girl out of magazines pages. Pia knew she shouldn't probably like her, but Charlotte was so lovable. There wasn't even one thing that she would be doing wrong.

"You're such a martyr, Pia," he said while closing his eyes. His head was still resting on Pia's shoulder. He hadn't felt that comfortable in a while.

"Oh, look at you, Daniel. You're a martyr just like me." Her quiet voice was barely hearable. It seemed like too many people around her suffered from broken hearts. She was well aware she screwed it up to herself, but Max or Daniel... They didn't do anything wrong. They deserved to be happy, and yet they weren't.

They just sat there in silence for a little bit. It wasn't that awkward silence when you have the urge to say something because you feel uncomfortable. This silence was needed, and it was gladly welcomed. They both needed time to hide their wounds and scars once again. They were way too vulnerable.

"We felt sorry for each other for way too long. Let's go to your apartment," Pia suggested after a while. It sounded like something Joanna would say. Don't pity yourself that much.

"Yeah, you're right. We should cancel our pity party." Another of Joanna's lines. It was funny to say it to yourself. It was like you know you're a mess, but you're not really doing anything with that fact. They both were a mess.

"It's... It's a nice apartment," Pia said when she saw it for the first time. Daniel knew she was lying. He didn't like the look of his apartment either. It felt so cold - plain white walls without pictures, a couple of trophies on the shelves, no souvenirs from his travels, nothing to make it feel like home.

It didn't feel like home even to Daniel. This apartment was just a place where he stayed when he wasn't racing. It was just a lay-by between his travels. In his life, he had just two homes - one back in his homeland and one in Monaco with Jules. One was 14 000 kilometres away, and the second one was gone for good.

"Oh, don't lie," the Aussie said as he opened his fridge and reached for the bottle of bourbon. It was already half-empty at this point. Then his eyes met with Pia's disapproving face.

"What? It's five o'clock somewhere. We can start drinking now." Daniel was always a party man. Everyone knew that but drinking at eleven in the morning was disturbing. It was a sign that something was wrong. Drinking this early in the morning always meant something bad.

"But it's eleven in the morning in Monaco," Pia opposed him. Daniel just shrugged. He didn't seem to care about what Pia just said. Dan took two glasses out of the cabinet and placed them on a kitchen bar. He was slowly pouring into them the honey-looking liquor.

Daniel took his glass and beckoned to Pia. "Will you take that glass, or should I drink it all by myself?" he asked her. She didn't want to drink this early, but she also didn't want to let Daniel drink it all. So, she took the second glass.

"On fucked up lives," Daniel said a toast before drinking to whole glass at once. Pia drank just a little bit which caused Daniel to frown, but he let it be in the end. The young Italian just hoped Daniel didn't do this way too often.