We Stand United: An Lgbt Guide

Deadnaming

Deadnaming sucks. I'm sure most people reading this guide is familiar with it in some way or another. Wether they themselves experienced it, or a friend, family member, or anything else.

So, what IS deadnaming?

Deadnaming is the act in which one person uses calls trans (and sometimes even cis babs) by their birthname, when previously stated that their name has changed.

For example, a MtF babs' birth name is, say, Hayden. Hayden tells their friend, Bo that they would like to be called Rosie. Bo disrespects that, and continues to call Rosie by their birth name, Hayden.

That, is deadnaming.

Deadnaming can either be done on purpose, or on accident.

It is to be made clear that Deadnaming someone on purpose is disrespectful and hurtful, and should be avoided. Saying someone's deadname could give them anxiety, depressive thoughts, lack of trust, and many more.

Now, when someone deadnames you on accident, it can be a whole different story. Maybe said person doesn't know your preferred name. Or maybe they're just getting used to it.

In either case, the victim should be easy on the other person(s) because it is not their fault. In fact, it is neither parties' fault.

You should either tell said person your preferred name, or give then time to get used to your new one. Politely remind them what your new name is, and move on. Don't raise your voice, don't get agitated, just correct and move on.

In either case, being deadnamed is not fun. In my personal experience, I had an ex girlfriend who deadnamed me on purpose. Maybe some of you are stuck in a situation like this.

Here's the thing: the sad truth is, until you're of age and not a minor, you unfortunately can't do anything about it. Once you're no longer a minor, you may get a name change, and discontinue contact with said person.

This is toxic behavior for someone to deadname you on purpose. It is hurtful.

It is also important to note, that sometimes deadnaming is 100% needed. If parents, guardians, or anybody else you are constantly around are against you changing your name, then it is safer to wait it out.

If there is any risk of being abused, hit on, or anything else, do not bug them to use your preferred name. It hurts, but it's not worth your life.

Remember, loves, stay safe out there. Happy new years to you all.

Much love, - Zero