We Stand United: An Lgbt Guide

"My friends call me gay even though I'm Bi!"

"Hi, I'm bisexual (but) my friends keep calling me gay even though I'm not. How do I explain that to them and how do I make them stop?

Question from: Mia (ZoeNightshade406)

Hi, Mia! Thanks for the question. Does being called gay bother you? Gay is a typical term people use to to refer to, well, pretty much everyone not straight. Typically, the ones doing so are either a) in the community themselves and feel comofrtable doing so, or b) people who may have their heart in the right place, but might lack a bit of knowledge on the subject at hand.

If you aren't comofrtable being labeled as gay since you're Bi, there's steps you can take to help your friends understand.

i. Teach them – as I said before, they're likely uneducated on the matter, so that leaves it up to you (and, of course if you need it, there's hundreds of books and media to help you out) to teach them real meanings and such. It could be that they just don't understand the difference between being Bi or gay.

ii. This goes hand in hand with (i.) and that is, talk to them. Start by sitting them down and telling them you have something they need to know. Tell them you're Bi, and then explain what Bi is. Tell them it is different from being gay, and then explain what gay is to them.

On the offchance, however, that they know the meanings, sit them down and explain to them that them calling you gay instead of Bi hurts you, and that you aren't comfrtoable with it. Let them know gently that you'd like them to try and start using Bi instead of gay from now on. To follow up, correct them when they slip up. "Hey, Bi, remember?" or "Please remember what we talked about." But remember to not be harsh about it. Everyone is always learning something new, and sometimes it's not the easiest, so we have to always support others.

If they blantaly ignore you after that, or seem to find enjoyment in your discomfort, then, Mia, I am so sorry, but it's time to find new friends. True friends would respect your wishes and boundaries, no matter what. Know your worth. That goes out to all of you. Know. Your. Worth.