Last Hope - (Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor)

SILENCE

TW : PTSD, Self-Harm, Anxiety, Shock

Sarah POV :

I stopped the bleeding of her cuts and her panic attack was over. But we were all in shock. Holland didn't think it was that serious before she opened the bathroom, and with everything I read on her notebook today, I was so worried for Lizzie. She seemed like she was in shock as well, but I was the adult here, I was her guardian and the responsible person so I needed to do something.

"Lizzie, do you think you can stand up so we can sit more comfortably, wherever you want ?" I asked her, as softly as I could, not to make her panicking again because I realized I was screaming really loudly few minutes ago, on the other side of the bathroom door.

She simply nodded and tried to stand up, but it seemed difficult with her painful arms wrapped in thick towels.

"Let me help you." I said as I took her by the waist. I let her head rest on my chest and I walked her to her bedroom. "Here you go." I whispered as I helped her laying on her bed.

"Do you feel comfortable here ?"

She nodded again and I sat next to her on the edge of the bed. I took some deep breathes and turned to Holland.

"Holland my love, can you grab the first aid kit on our bathroom please?"

I noticed Holland was still shaken and I wanted to distract her as I was far more calm now. I felt like I was able to deal with the situation, but Holland wasn't. She came back quickly, holding the box.

"You're an angel thank you." She stayed here, standing in the door frame, looking very pale. But I needed to help Lizzie first, her state was more serious.

"What about you get some rest and when you feel like you're ready, you can start making dinner for us. Whatever you feel like cooking tonight." I said to my lover with a reassuring smile. She accepts and went to lay on our bed. I was now alone with my poor Lizzie, who was in no state to talk about what just happened. Her eyes were wide open, but she seemed like totally lost. She was looking at nothing and wasn't moving at all.

"Lizzie, sweet girl I need to look at your wrists, please." I asked very quietly, but she didn't move.

"Am I allowed to touch you ?" I asked even more quietly.

Without moving her eyes or anything, she murmured a small 'yes'.

"Thank you honey." I replied as I gently took her arm and set it on my lap. I started cleaning the deepest wounds. There were numerous and all over her forearms, it broke my heart. I bandaged both of her arms and let them rest on each side of Lizzie's weak body. She was pale, even more pale than Holland, and she was motionless. Her state worried me a lot, I didn't know what to do, so I asked her, thinking she was old enough to know what was the best for her.

"Lizzie, can you hear me ?"

She nodded.

"What do you want to do now ?"

She didn't answered, so I gave her propositions.

"You can for example rest on your bed, or on the couch downstairs, you can take a shower, you can eat something or talk to me, about anything, or... or we can cuddle... What do you want to do right now ?"

She again didn't answered, she didn't even move and I grew even more concerned. I didn't want to let her alone, but Holland was in no state to take care of her and I needed to call someone, like a doctor, or someone who could check if she was okay, because it didn't seemed like she was.

"Alright sweet girl, I'm going to my bedroom, just in front of yours. I'll let both of the doors open, and I'll keep an eye on you while I'm making a call. Is that okay ?"

And she remained motionless. I made her lay a bit more and I put the covers on her body. She was now staring at the ceiling, like she was dead and it scared the shit out of me.

I stepped out of her bedroom but as I promised, I let the door open. When I entered my bedroom, Holland was still on the bed, resting but not sleeping.

"How're you feeling my love ?" I asked her.

"I'm okay, I think..." She answered, not convinced herself.

"Okay. I'm gonna call Dr Grey for Lizzie because she worries me a lot. Do you need something ?"

"No I'm okay, thank you darling, thank so much for taking care of the whole situation." Holland replied gratefully.

"Thank YOU. If you weren't there, I wouldn't have checked on Lizzie and she probably would have been... dead."

"Don't say that. You were so courageous, I'm proud to be in love with you."

"I'm proud too. I love you." I kissed her and she hugged me tight, until we pulled away so I could call the doctor.