ⁱˡᵒᵐⁱˡᵒ

ᵇᵘᵗ ⁿᵒʷ ⁱ'ˡˡ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ

A/N: Feels good to be writing this again. This is a fairly short chapter but I hope you enjoy anyway. Consider this a bridge chapter.

"Do I have to wear this stupid fucking tie?" 

Toshinori swats at Touya's bothersome hands as the younger alpha goes to fidget and tug at the tie around his neck. It took him an hour just to convince him to put the damn thing on. The older man sighs in exasperation. 

"It is a formal event, son, so yes—you have to wear the stupid fucking tie." He reasons and though he doesn't seem pleased with his mentor's response, Touya doesn't seem as though he has any intentions of arguing with him. 

He's just ready to get this over with. 

The raven is visibly anxious, shifting nervously in the mildly uncomfortable shoes that he's wearing. He can't remember the last time he had to wear a tux or worry about scuffing those stupid, shiny ass shoes. It almost feels like he's suffocating but he swallows it down. 

He has to do this for Masaru. 

For Katsuki. 

But he's never been more terrified in his life. 

He's beginning to wonder if keeping this from his parents was the right thing to do. He wanted to protect them—to make sure that they didn't get too closely involved with this case lest they get caught in the crossfire—but with every passing hour he begins to struggle with his own mortality. 

He was grateful to Captain Tsukauchi for leaving Katsuki out of the debriefing. As much as Touya felt like he had a right to know exactly what he was walking into but if his angel knew what was going to happen tonight, he'd be all nerves and the entire operation would have gone tits up from the jump. He and Masaru were not so easily spared but it's best they be on their toes. Touya would say that he's utterly shocked that the PSI even agreed to something this risky but the government has never been shy about sacrificing civilians in order to cash in on closing a high profile case. To them, the risk is worth it. 

He could die tonight. 

He could die and his parents would never forgive him for keeping this from them. 

And Shouto would never forgive his big brother for leaving him behind. 

He knows that keeping them safe was much more important than giving them a chance to say goodbye. Still, he hopes that if anything happens to him that his family will at least know how much they meant to him. How much he loved them. 

Toshinori moves on to fix Touya's hair, though he knows that it's a futile task as nothing he tries seems to be enough to tame the unkempt nest on his head. 

"Tell me what's on your mind." 

It's quiet—nearly a whisper as he seems to sense Touya's trepidation. The tattooed alpha is hesitant in responding mostly because he doesn't want Toshinori to have a change of heart and force him to stay behind but a part of him is incredibly confused about these feelings of unbridled fear. He's been a little spooked before, sure, but he's never feared for his life like this. 

For their lives like this. 

"I'm...just tryna sort my feelings out." 

"Feelings about walking into the lion's den." 

"I dunno. Don't get me wrong, I'm not fuckin' scared of Mitsuki and I happen to enjoy beating the everloving fuck out of pedophiles and biggots but there's gonna be so many of them and if one of them somehow ends up separating me from Katsuki—" 

"You're worried they'd overpower you and kill you." 

A frustrated shrug.

"I don't even think I'm afraid of dying. It's just that me dying would equate to them having their filthy fucking hands on my baby and...and I know what they wanna do to him. I know what they're planning to do to him if they manage to get rid of me. What they're planning to do to Masaru. And that terrifies me more than anything else—if I'm not there to protect them."