F1 One shots

You stay with me. 24/7. ~Alex Albon

Pov
I looked at myself in the mirror. Such a disappointment. I walked back out into the crowd. I chuckled as my friend shouted my name. "Come on! We're playing truth or dare!" She pulled me with her as we sat in a circle with some people. I looked in front of me, he was sitting there too. My nerves kicked in. Someone shouted my name again. "Truth or dare?" George gave me a challenging look. "Truth." The whole group groaned but I didn't care. "Is it true you have a crush on Alex?" I became red and nodded. "Guys! I got shots!" A close friend of mine came into the room. I immediately grabbed 2 of her shots. I gulped them down. "Thanks I needed those."

The game had been going on for a while now and I was quite drunk. "Would you rather know how you're gonna die or when?" A question was been thrown trough the room. I interrupted not even thinking about it. "What does it matter? Everyone is going to die anyway, so you might as well get it over with." I said shrugging. Everyone looked at me in silence, some looked at me with pity in their eyes. "Well, this is getting akward imma get out of here." I stood up and walked back home.

The next morning I had a major headache. No surprise. I ran to the bathroom throwing up. I sighed crawling back in bed. It was a bad day again. I heard my phone blowing up with messages but I didn't care. The next 3/4 days I just laid in bed. Sometimes coming out to grab something to eat. It became a ritual. Eat, drink, sleep, wake up, eat, drink, sleep. I didn't check my phone. I didn't even watch the race. I felt myself getting darker thoughts again so I quickly got my notebook and wrote it all down. I heard a knock on my door. I didn't want to get up, but I had too. I put on an oversized hoodie, looking like shit. I opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

Alex Pov
"Guys I don't trust it. She hasn't been reacting to anything after the party. She didn't even message me after the podium and we all know that is so unlike her. She's my biggest supporter, somethings wrong I can feel it." I anxiously looked at George and Lando. "Maybe someone should go to her, check if she's doing okay. I think it should be Alex. No offense mate but it might have something to do with the confession at the party." I looked down. When she admitted her crush on me, I felt so damn happy inside. But after her statement later, I got very worried. I grabbed my keys and walked to my car.

I drove to her house, going way over the speed limit. I knocked rapidly on her door and heard some shuffling. She opened the door and the sight was horrible. Her hair was a mess. She was in a big hoodie and sweatpants. She looked like she hadn't slept for days, tear stains visible on her cheeks. "What are you doing here?" Her voice sounded raspy and sore. "I came to check. You weren't answering and I was really worried. God damn. You look terrible... what happened?"

She slowly opened the door letting me in. The place was a mess. The kitchen was full with dishes. The living room was full with trash and empty beer bottles. I haven't even seen the bedroom but I'm sure it's just as bad, if not worse. "Come here." I opened my arms as she immediately broke down. I carried her to the bed. I whispered little words as she slowly drifted of to sleep. When she was fast asleep I slowly stood up.

I walked to the kitchen and started doing the dishes. When those were finished I cleaned the rest of the kitchen. When the kitchen smelled fresh and looked clean again I grabbed a bag for the trash and started collecting the empty bottles and cans in the living room. I put the clothes that were scattered on the ground into the washing machine along with the pile of clothes already laying there. I vacuumed the living room and proceeded to the bedroom.

There were a lot of tissues on the ground and I threw them all away. My eyes fell on a black notebook. I felt that it was private so I put it next to her bed on her nightstand. I stopped cleaning for a bit and looked at her peacefully sleeping. I pulled the blanket over her a bit further and softly kissed her head. I proceeded cleaning the bedroom and did the bathroom too. Everything looked fresh and smelled clean. I looked at the clock and realized it was time to start dinner. I pulled open the fridge but it was almost completely empty.

I sighed grabbing the keys and running down to the store. I ran some necessary errands and bought some snack and icecream for when she felt better. I bought a simple soup for dinner as it might be hard for her too eat and drove back to her house. I quickly prepared a hot bath and walked to the bedroom where I softly shook her awake. Her sleepy eyes looked up at me. "Hey beautiful. It's time to get up. You're gonna take a nice hot bath. Then we're gonna eat some dinner and talk okay?" She nodded teary eyed getting into the bathroom. I gave her the freshly washed clothes and walked downstairs. I started on dinner and by the time she got downstairs it was finished.

She sat down on the couch as I handed her the soup. "It's just a simple soup, nothing much." I said as I looked at her terrified face. She put it down on the table and crawled back onto the couch. "Hey, come on you have to eat something. I know it's not easy but just a few bites. I believe in you." She looked up at me with glossy eyes. She looked so fragile. So broken. I picked up her soup and slowly started feeding her. She swallowed it with a lot of struggles. We finished dinner and I cleaned up the dishes.

I sat back down on the couch and opened my arms, she immediately fell into them. 'You wanna talk about it?" She shook her head. "Notebook." She croaked out. "You want me to read it?" She slowly nodded. I got up getting the notebook and sat back down next to her. As she laid down against me I started reading.

October 23 18.03
It's all going well. For now. There's a party tonight. Alex is coming too. Sweet, dreamy, Alex. I don't want to fall back into the habits. Can't do the routine no more. Alex lights it all up, my whole world. The candle in my dark room. But he's way too good for me. I looked in the mirror again. Big mistake. Why would he want me anyway? There's a monster.

I teared up looking at her as she had her eyes closed. She wasn't asleep, just resting. So I read on.

October 24 02.17
The party was a disaster. It's coming back again. The dark feelings. I can't ignore it. I got wasted and threw up. Truth or dare. Truth. Do you have a crush in Alex? Ofcourse I had to nod. I looked up Alex, but he didn't show any emotion. Or that was the shots talking. Immediately after I snapped to my dark world. It hurts.

October 26 11.46
Just had another panic attack. It was worse then ever. Everything hurt. Not just my chest and my throat. My arms, legs, neck, everything. I couldn't breathe. I thought I was suffocating, but I heard his soft voice in my head. "You can do it, little sis." It hurts. Why can't I just join him? Up in heaven. Everything would be over. All the pain would be gone. I want to join him.

The last page was written right before I got here. I sat in front of her. "I want you to listen to me. I love you. I love you with all my heart and you are more then good enough for me. When you confirmed your crush on me I was more then happy. I want you. All of you. Your flaws, your imperfections. I'm going to be here from now on, wether you like it or not. We will get trough this together. You stay with me. 24/7. All day long. Every day of the week. Till you feel better." A tear rolled down both our cheeks.

That night we cuddled all night. It took her a week and a half before she started improving. When she finally did, we had snacks and ice cream. We watched a movie and had our first soft kiss. After 2 more weeks she felt a lot better and came with me to the grand prix. As my girlfriend. We've been together ever since. We both have bad days but we help each other through those. We are happy. Together. And hopefully waiting for more to come. I grinned feeling a little box in my pants.