Namjoon's Chance • KNJ

Fifteen

"What if that's not true? What if I'm not okay?" Your voice trembled and you felt all the horrible things the secret could be crashing around you.

"I'm never going to let that happen baby. If you fall apart I'll put you back together piece by piece." Joon's voice was gentle and he pulled you across the couch, your head dropping to his shoulder. His hands squeezed your arms reassuringly.

"If there's too many pieces?"

"I'll get tweezers and glue."

You stayed there for a minute hugging him, breathing in his scent deeply. His shirt still smelled of laundry but underneath his skin was earthy as if he'd spent time with his plants. The distraction didn't last long, the truth of the situation nagged at you.

"You lied to me Joon. How am I supposed to believe you now?" You pushed back from his embrace looking up at him trying to decipher the lines of his mouth.

"I didn't lie to protect myself, I didn't do it for selfish reasons. I did it because the timing was wrong and it's not something you need added to your shoulders. If I had done it to keep you from being mad at me it would be different. This secret isn't about me, I'm not involved."

"You're involved or you wouldn't have had to lie."

"I'm not involved past the extent of knowing the secret, being angry enough about it to punch him, and agreeing to not tell you. I didn't even intend to help him hide it but it all just happened. I thought you finding out in the middle of his hospital room was a bad idea."

"Why does everyone get to decide what's the right decision for me?" You didn't want to be mad at Joon, he'd become your only safe place. Giving him up was unfathomable at this point.

"I know it's not fair beautiful," Joon stroked the back of his fingers down your cheek, "but you'll understand someday. And no matter what I'm going to stay by your side."

"If I don't want you there because I'm angry?"

"Too bad, I'll be waiting anyway. We're best friends forever, no take backs." He pinched your cheek gently and smiled, albeit sadly.

"We can't have sex tonight."

"I understand if you need time and you're upset with me." His fingers played with the edge of your hair.

"I got an IUD today, I'm sore." Namjoon placed his hand on your lower belly and grimaced.

"Are you okay baby?" The genuine concern in his face made you feel soft.

"I just thought an IUD would be easier." You shrugged not wanting to make a big deal out of things.

"Let's just eat in here and watch some bad tv. We can go to bed early. It will be like we used to do all the time okay?"

Joon had stood and walked toward the kitchen, you joined him and grabbed some food containers. Having your best friend back for a while might be what you needed. Everything had become complicated and dramatic, you needed simple.

Dinner was a cold but still delicious and you sat side by side on the floor in front of the coffee table eating. You'd agreed on a game show where contestants had to recall dances from popular music videos. You both laughed almost the whole time watching the players, clearly not dancers at all, absolutely wreck themselves over complicated steps.

"I feel like I'm watching myself from 2012, just hopping around and hoping Hobi wouldn't give me the look." Joon snorted watching a girl trip over her own feet and barrel into the guy beside her.

"Who gives him the look when he messes up?" You laughed knowing exactly the look Joon meant.

"Are you kidding right now?"