Call It Fate

Chapter - 36

Vivaans POV

I feel distraught.

Empty even, if I could just close my eyes and ignore the loud chirping voices around me. I was sure it wasn't supposed to be like this. I could have put my all resolutions and still, nothing would have turned out the way things happened between us...

"Oye, dulhe raja?! (Groom king)" Bhabhi chuckled, gaining many other small giggles from bystanders. "Dhyan kahan hai aapka? Apni nazro ko kabu me rakhiye, Kahi nahi jarahi vo. Kal aapke sath hi mandap me baithna hai usne."

("Where is you attention? Keep your eyesight in check, she isn't going anywhere. Tomorrow she is supposed to sit in mandap with you only.")

Another round of laughter. And still, my eyes couldn't dare to sway away from her faint figure.

Drifted apart by the light yellow curtains standing firm between us, preventing us from getting a clear view of each other, I couldn't help but get a little anxious. My desperate eyes were searching for her since last night, pleading for one glance from her.

After she left my bedroom, last night, my throbbing heart couldn't take it. Unknown to me, I did many unforgettable and nonreversible deeds which I feel extremely guilty about. Shock seems like a small word to describe the emotion that surged through me when I heard her.

Whenever and however I try to remember her fragile and swollen face in my mind, I dare not to meet my own gaze in the mirror. I was this ashamed of myself. It was so difficult to accept the fact that I was the only sole reason behind her year's long sufferings.

Whereas I was blaming her for my broken heart and restless nights, I practically left her alone to deal with the ruckus that I created because of my useless notions. Every time I think about that, my body automatically stiffens. And I realize what a moron I was to act such recklessly without thinking much.

People say I take personal decisions recklessly. That's true. But I want to change it. I want to change myself for her and maybe our possible future.

I haven't got the privilege to make any eye contact with her yet. Somehow she was able to maintain a meaningful distance from me. Or should I say, avoid me at every cost. It didn't actually help with her friends guarding around her like a magnet.

Neither was it that oblivious to realize, they were trying to keep her away from me, trying to create an aura of security and wariness against me.

Well, who's fault was it? Mine.

Dejection as the sun shining brightly in the sky yet no human able to look at it with naked eye describes the situation to a point where I could feel myself burning in pain to get a small glimpse of her.

Draped in a bright yellow saree which I am sure graced her curves in the right places, my throat dried up impatiently to get a clear view of her figure. The intoxicating smell of jasmine and natural Haldi hit my nose as I felt bhabhi apply shit tone of Haldi on my face and whole body.

I shifted a little back by sudden enforcement as everyone laughed and ganged up on me, painting myself into yellow colour from head to toe. The somewhat same scene I could witness past the curtains where Mayra and her side of the people were going through the Haldi ceremony.

I blinked my eyes and wiped some remnants of Haldi at the side of my eyes so that it would be easier for me to see clearly. But when I looked up my eyes again ran across the veil of giggling people to find her.

I was desperate to talk to her. I know I don't deserve to talk to her after what happened but still, there was this need to hear her voice and hold her close to my heart. Ever since morning, I heard that she was present in the house, I went all over my place to search for her. But the only outcome I got was her ignorance and blurry presence. It was as if she was muted. I could hear only small hmm's and whispers from past the curtains.