"I didn't choose this for myself: the constant heartache, the feeling out of place in my own home, the lack of freedom. I didn't choose it, just like you didn't, Elijah. I can live with a husband who doesn't love me, but I will not forgo respect. I'...
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"Bye, Lilliana. I love you." I hear my mom say from the other side of the phone. "Bye, mom."
"I love you, darling." She repeats. "I heard you the first time," I reply unfazed. She sighs sadly and ends the call. I throw my phone on the bed and make my way to my closet, to find my gym clothes.
As I get changed, my eyes land on the white fabric peaking out of the cover I used to hide it.
Memories of my wedding ten months ago come to mind and I want to cry. I hate the life I've been living since that day, the constant faking and unwanted stares and pressure.
I look away, quickly wearing my clothes and heading downstairs for my self defense lessons. I've been taking these since I was four, and I haven't stopped for the last twenty years.
Vico, my trainer, is waiting for me already and we start our one hour session.
By the time I'm done and I've showered, I make my way into the kitchen, where Ms Franklin is cooking. "Good afternoon, Ms Franklin."
The cook smiles at me and I do the same, as I prepare myself a sandwich for dinner because Elijah's family is coming over and I don't think I can deal with being under his family's scrutiny, so I'll be upstairs by myself.
On my way to my room, I cross paths with Elijah who stops me. "Lilliana, I hope your bags are packed for our trip, tomorrow?" He uses the usual formal and cold tone that I've grown accustomed to. "Yes, Elijah," As I move to walk the final steps to my room, my name is called again. "Aren't you joining my family for dinner?" He asks, once I turn. "No. It's your family, not mine."
With that, I enter my bedroom and lock it behind me.
When I unlock my phone, my Lock Screen makes me smile nostalgically: I and Emma are laughing and hugging each other in our Halloween outfits. It must have been second year of college and the smiles were because our boyfriends kissed each other behind the camera, in an attempt to ruin our goal to get the perfect picture in one try.
Zak was my boyfriend since senior year of high school, and we had plans to get married next year, before I randomly broke up with him and left Seattle for New York and got married two months after, to another man.
Nothing has damaged me more than that and not being able to talk about what's happening, with him and Emma. I can't tell them why I left and got married with no goodbyes, because I've never told them the truth about my family, so now they hate me and I need to learn to deal with it and move on.
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