Wife Material

18

My childhood was far from perfect, with parents who ran a major organized crime group, and duties that were not appropriate for a seven year old child. However, I still managed to find some peace, love and happiness.

It was in the moments where grandma would invite us all over for dinner and her and grandpa would cook, when they'd sing us to sleep or force us to listen to 80s music with them.

So, to find out that my own mother played a part in what happened to Lilliana makes me sick.

I should've known, or suspected it the moment Lilliana told me a woman was involved, but once Daniel stated that there were people in my family that wanted to punish her, I knew it was her immediately. She was the one that hired Daniel, the one that suggested him as Lilliana's bodyguard. I shoudve fucking known.

As I look at my wife's expression, I know that we're at the point of no return. Knowing that my mother is responsible for her pain has fully broken her, and I can see it in her eyes, and the sadness and mistrust hidden behind them.

Before I can say anything else, she turns around and exits the basement. I follow her, hoping to get her to talk to me, "Lilliana, stop." She doesn't. "Lilliana, wait, please talk to me." The desperation in my voice is clear, but it doesn't affect her or slow her pace. She reaches her room and opens her closet. She's pulling out an empty luggage and filling it with clothes.

"What are you doing? Li, please don't do this. I can fix it. Just. . . Please, just let me fix it." I thought I was ready and willing to let her go, to sign divorce papers, but seeing her right now, packing her things, it's stirring up confusing and unknown feelings inside of me.

"Fix it? Elijah, you want to fucking fix this?" Her voice is frantic, "Fix what exactly? The damage is done. I can't sleep, I've gone back to feeling like the fourteen year old girl with an eating disorder I was, I can't fucking breathe in my own house, and you want to fix what exactly?" I bow my head in shame.

"You know what the funny thing is, it's that even if you tried to help, I still wouldn't be able to live here, in the same space as you. Because I blame you. I wouldn't be in this messed up position if not for you. And I'm sorry, it isn't fair, because you didn't do anything, but every single time I feel the lightest touch on my skin, I'm taken back to that day and how it wouldn't have happened if you had just answered your damn phone, instead of being so mad at me over a text from an ex I told you I hated. I'm married to you, no matter how arranged this marriage is, that fucking meant something to me. If you had answered your phone earlier, you may have made it to me in time. It wouldn't have happened if that monster didn't hate you as much as he did, and now I find out your mother may be behind this. I can't. I'm sorry."

My heart stops. I don't think it beats for the rest of the time that I'm stood there, watching her pack her things, calling her cousin to pick her up and moving downstairs.

"I don't care about Oron, he's more your problem than he is mine." She let's out a heavy sigh, "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff, and I'll have a lawyer contact you about the divorce."

"What about your mother," my question is the first thing that seems to ignite some doubt in her, "what will she say?"

"I'm her daughter. She'll understand."

Yesterday I watched as Lilliana entered a car with her cousin, driving away from me. Today, I find myself in my parents kitchen ready to confront my mother during our weekly family dinner. I no longer care about my mother family being unaware of what my paternal family is involved in. I'll burn the world to the ground, if that's what it'll take for me to get answers.

My cousin Richard, my only maternal relative who is fond of my wife, gives me the perfect way to initiate the conversation.

"Lij, where's your wife?" I clear my throat, and look up for the first time all night. "She left me."

Silence engulfs the entire dining room, everyone looking at each other unsure. "What?" My father's genuine surprise confirms the suspicion that he's not involved. I look around the table, and I'm stunned and the lack of emotional reaction from my maternal side of the family. All who quietly look at each other knowingly.

The suspicion grows when I see a smirk my aunt and mother are trying to suppress.

I let my other family members questions momentarily grab my attention.

A mix of 'why', 'what did you do' and 'there's no way' are heard and I try to casually avoid them. "Elijah, son. I know you and Lilliana didn't have a conventional marriage," my dad says, lowering his tone at the final part of his sentence, "but you guys have grown fund of each other since then. I can tell. So why would she leave you. Did you cheat?"

His question irritates me. "Of course not, dad. I would never do that."

Before he can respond, my mother stops him. "Stop trying to make him the villain when he's the victim, Carlo. I never wanted to say anything before because she was your wife," she turns to me, "but she wasn't right for you. I never thought so. She was a slob, didn't take care of you, and failed at giving you a child. Her job as your wife was to give you an heir but of course she failed at that and lost the child you spent thousands of dollars to conceive, because she couldn't give you a child the way God intended."

Silence.

"She was pregnant?" Billie, my younger sister asks me. My blood boils right under the surface of my skin. She has finally slipped. We didn't have the opportunity to tell anyone about Lilliana's pregnancy, something even I didn't know until it was too late. And we especially didn't have the time to tell anyone that we had lost the baby.

So it's obvious Daniel must have told her everything. "How did you know she was pregnant?" My mom pales at my question as she realizes her royal fuck up.

"It was your bodyguard. That lovely man. I didn't bring it up to you because it's obvious you guys were waiting to tell us and I wanted to respect your wishes. I started thinking Daniel might have lied or have been caught telling me, because he hasn't relied any more information since then. Is he okay?"

The usual fake smile is plastered on her face, and with a still stoic expression, I respond, "Yes. He's been out of the country." Her eyes flicker with panic under my scrutiny, but I look away.

I want her to pay, and exposing her right now won't help.

"I'm gonna go." I say standing up , and I make my way to the door with no further explanation.

Glancing at my phone, I see multiple notifications. None from Lilliana. The only one I bother looking at is the one from Valentina asking if we can go to the cinema.

Another sense of defeat fills my chest. Does this mean I won't see the kids anymore? They've been living at the foster home for a couple of days but have spent every single day with us.

I love those kids. I will not lie.

The initial hesitation I felt about wanting to adopt them completely disappeared with each second we spent together, and if they are adopted I hope we'll be given the opportunity to still see them, but now that Li isn't living with me anymore, will she stop me from seeing them?

I reply to Valentina that it's okay, as long as Lilliana says it's okay, and make my way to my car.

Her reply comes fast and I change route to make it to Talia's house.

Valentina is waiting for me and runs to the car as soon as I get out. Her arms wrap around my legs and I pull her into my arms, before greeting her with tickles to her stomach. "Where are your brothers?" "Enrico and Xavier are being nice to Lilli. She was sad. She was hiding it but we saw anyway."

I head towards the door, trying to make my way to her before Talia stops me. "No. Don't do this."

I get a glance at her and the boys watching tv, and I back away from the door.