Our Deception

(21) The First Caressing

TW before reading; mentioning of SA. Please be aware, and if this by ANY means trigger, or cause you discomfort you are welcome to message me about it, and if (you're only comfortable,) I'll gladly listen and hear your rants:) And if it's too much I will also gladly take it down, because y'all's comfort about the story and overall tolerance is what it's important!!

Now, without ado, enjoy babes!

Elijah
Her kiss deepened as her hands found their way to my hair, gripping and pulling me forward in need to feel more. My hands place themselves under her thighs for support as I lift her. She wraps her arms around my neck without breaking the kiss. Her tears accidentally fall on my cheeks and I can't help but feel bad for her. That's when I realize she's vulnerable. God you're dumb, she doesn't want you. She's vulnerable and in need for comfort, but I could never ruin her like that. She'd regret it the next day. I know it.

Her hands trace my forearm up and down as she needily tries to claim more of me.

''Eleodore,'' I get out as I breathe in for air when the kiss breaks. She presses her lips on mine again as she shakes her head, not wanting to end what she started. Fuck she's so hot right now. Her need to be skin to skin and be one with me is driving me wild. She's driving me wild. ''Eleodore you need sleep.'' She breathes rapidly trying to gain back the air she released. She looks up at me with the biggest doll eyes I've ever seen, her eyes sparkle with sadness and tears. Her puffy eyes, rosy cheeks and cold nose makes me feel bad for even trying to take advantage of her.

''You dont want me?'' She asked, looking a bit shocked by my sudden act of resistance. Her question almost made me groan. How could she think I don't want her? The only thing I want right now is to feel her skin on mine, to carefully examinate her every reaction to my touch, to make her come and say she's mine. Naturally I wanted that, only from her though.

I cupped her face as I bring my forehead to rest down on hers. She's still breathing heavily in order to control her breathing.

''I want you. More than I've ever wanted anyone else.''I calmly inform her. She closes her eyes.

''Then what's the problem?'' She asks with a sigh which almost sounds like shes choking a cry.

''Princess, you're tired and you've been crying, I don't know what for but I'm not taking advantage of you when you are at your lowest.'' She looks up at me with a guilty look and I can't help but feel even worse for her now than I did. She's making everything so hard.

''Let's just go to bed, okay?'' She nods and I hand the clothes over to her so she can get dressed. I look away while placing myself under the sheets, waiting for her warmth to encounter.

I hear a sigh followed by the sheets being removed off my back. She slides in behind me and I take it as my cue to turn back around. My gaze follows her every move and her eyes lock with mine.

''Do you want to talk about it?'' I ask when she looks a bit more comfortable in my presence. She blinks some tears away. I want to pull her in my embrace and tell her everything is going to be okay and that she shouldn't worry, that none of what she fears will happen as long as I am around.

''I just..'' she takes a deep breath before finishing while tearing her gaze away from mine, in an obvious attempt of embarassment. As if she had any reason to be embarrassed. ''I had a panic attack that's all.'' She says flatly.

I nod and it seems like she's done talking so I close my eyes with the last view of her fidgeting with her nails.

''I lost my parents a while ago, as you know. And ever since that...'' I open my eyes again as she speaks, a bit amazed that she's capable of talking about it. She looks so fragile and I don't want to ruin anything so I let her continue. ''I had trouble being ''happy'' or something. I let it go to the point where I left AJ alone and went out to do whatever I wanted. I should've been there for him and I should've watched him grow up. Instead, I got a boyfriend.''

I don't know where she's going with this, but I want to be there for her, I want her to be able to talk to me, to be comfortable doing so. I look at her giving her the slightest smile to comfort her for whatever she says next.

''Him and I were fine, you know? He was good to me, he had a huge impact on my life. He encouraged me to get closer to AJ, and so I did. From that moment on, AJ and I got closer, we've been close ever since.'' She takes a deep breath.

''When we first started dating, he was 21 and I was 17. I didn't know at the time that he was a part of the mafia and that he owned one, but he introduced me to his place and men around two years of dating. One day, I was alone at his place with a bodyguard. He was out doing business. I didn't know who was set to be my bodyguard but I learned to know eventually that he liked me. He would always look at me with a predator look, I didn't say anything because I didn't think it'd matter, I loved him and only him. A couple of hours later, my bodyguard knocked on my door and I had just gotten out of the shower.''

I knew where this was going and I felt myself boil just thinking about someone touching her in an unpleasing way. She took several deep breaths before continuing.

''I told him not to come in, but he did anyway. Once he saw me, he ran towards me and had me in a grip. I couldn't escape him, he was all over me.''

My jaw clenched and I'd gotten surprised by my own reaction, this shouldn't bother me so much. This was before, she's okay now, she's safe now.

''He..'' she choked on a cry as she tried to keep going. I pulled her closer to me and in my embrace. She starts sobbing and I feel her warm tears hit my chest. I tighten my grip around her to give her comfort. She didn't deserve any of this.

''He raped me.'' She finally said in a sob, a sob that made my heart shatter.