I take a deep breath as I look down on him, he's still grinning which now looks more like a smirk and it's annoying me that he has that kind of power over me. I'm still laying in bed, in only my underwear.
I can't believe I had broken every rule I had created for myself. For my own pleasure, I sigh in shame, but never leaving any tracks.
Elijah puts his clothes on, buttoning his shirt as his gaze never leaves mine. He turns around to what I presume is leave.
Before I can stop myself I burst out. ''Wait''. He turns around, allowing his gaze to meet mine behind his thick lashes. A smirk appears on his face as amusement washes over his face. ''Yes, princess?'' He asks, which sounded like it had a tad of sarcasm.
''Aren't you going to... you know, fuck me for your own pleasure as well?'' He chuckles and I rose in embarrassment at his response. He takes a step towards the bed again, where I'm still laying, trying to catch up on my breath.
''No, princess. I wont fuck you until you tell me to. And I most certainly wont do it for my own pleasure.'' He replies, his eyes never leaving mine as he smiles. I guess that makes me feel better in a way. He opens the door and slides out, closing it behind him.
I sigh as I fall back onto the bed, clutching my heart to still my heavy breath.
What the fuck just happened. Did I really let him touch me hours after I told him I wont let him fuck me? I'm such a hypocrite. But the worst thing is that I liked it, in ways I've never enjoyed sex before, it was arousing yet not enough, I needed him inside me. I was pathetically aching for his presence inside me at this point.
It was kind of similar with Kai, but also not. With Kai I never blushed or had to ignore whatever I felt because that's just the way it was. We'd fuck and then it wouldn't feel more than a one night stand, or a thousand night stand with no strings attached.
It was different than it was with Elijah, I'd never been so turned on by a touch as I did with Elijah. Sure, Kai pleased me and has given me multiple orgasms, but this was nothing like Elijah's and he wasn't even inside me. This is so frustrating.
Tonight was the night we get Diego and then I'm done here; we're done here. Luckily I'll never have to see him again, hopefully.
I'd had to clear my mind in order to not fail my steps in the mission, otherwise I'd have to see him again and I don't want to prolong this anymore than I have to. I turn around on my stomach to get a glance at the clock placed on the table beside my bed. It's 5 AM, oh fuck I'm late.
I quickly yank myself off the bed and pull out the drawer where I had organized my older clothes in, just in case we'd have to be here for a couple of days, I aggressively shove my gym clothes on and run out the door and towards the training room.
My eyes meet Kai's as he gives me a ''you're late'' look.
''I know, I know. I'm late I'm sorry, it wont happen again'' his tense face relaxes and he gives me a warm smile. Despite his kindness, he's always been strict about my training, him and Tai both.
''Keeping training your only focus is the only thing that you should be doing, no distractions whatsoever'' that's something that they would both tell me multiple times, as if I'd forgotten over and over again. ''What were you doing?'' He asked, with his gaze never leaving mine, my cheeks started to blush thinking about what just happened.
''Nothing I just didn't hear the alarm so I overslept,'' I replied, gazing down at my outfit; or anywhere else than him.
''Alright, we'll move on to stage 6 of knife throwing, I know you're good at it so it wont be a problem for you other than fixating your imperfections at the moment. Tonight is the night we're inituating the start of what could be the end of whatever tie we have with Elijah, so we'll be training longer today.''
I nod and he wraps his white, somewhat dirty looking kumpur around and in between his fingers. At this point I'd gotten a bit guilty for what I did with Elijah, it didn't feel right, at least not to Kai it wouldn't.
I can't help but feel like I've cheated, I know Kai also fucks other women but this is the first time I've been with someone else other than Kai since that night.
That one night that changed my life and introduced me to grief and sorrow. From then, my only focus had been Aiden.
Ever since that one night, I'd been somewhat unstable with myself. I've never forgiven myself for it. It's my fault she's dead. I would've never done what I had if I knew what the outcome would be.
Unfortunately, with my biggest regrets, I can't change my previous actions, but I can choose to never forgive myself, because I find some comfort in hating myself for my actions instead of accepting the outcome.
I think Kai knows what I'm thinking about because he seemed worried. ''Are you thinking about what I think you're thinking about?'' He asks out of the blue, kind of startling me as I leave my thoughts with no answers.
I look at him through my lashes and find his blue eyes fixated on me already. ''Yeah, but let's just train, I need to get my head off it for a couple of hours'', he nods and hands me a warm smile.
''Alright, pick up a couple of knives, whichever you'd like, stand on the red line and throw everyone in the middle. After you've thrown the first, you should throw the next ones so hard that the previous knives fall out of place.''
I do as I'm told, there are five mannequins in front of me, with two targets. The heart and the head. I pick up ten different knives, placing them in my waist bag. I hold one in my hand and walk over to the red line.
I keep my hand steady and just infront of my ear, keeping my elbows still as I rock my hand back and fourth until I finally throw it, which lands on the heart of the first mannequin.
''Good, keep going''.
I pick up another knife out of the bag and repeat my actions. I rock it back and fourth until I release it, allowing it to leave my fingers and find its next place. The knife doesn't place itself where I want though, it places just a centimeter away from the first one.
''Do it again'', he demands. I nod and pick up another knife.
I do the same, but this time take a deep breath before I release it. I rock it and this time throw it harder than the previous ones. It lands right between the previous knives, causing them to fall to the ground. I smile.
''Good. Head next''. I nod
The knife strikes right in the little circle on the forehead and I repeat all of my actions again and again.
After what seemed like a couple of hours of throwing knives, lectures of where to throw them, how to throw them where you want and when its most reasonable to throw them he speaked up. ''Good, you're ready for tonight.''
I smile as I exhale.
''Be careful tonight, Eleodore.'' He says, unwillingly with what seems like a slight frown.
''I will, don't worry.''
ꔫ - Hi guys, I hope you enjoyed this, please leave a vote for support, thank you!<3
CITEȘTI
Our Deception
Acţiune''Kill me, Elijah. Do it!'' I scream, tears flooding down my cheeks as I get ready for what's next. He gazes at me, and for the first time, I realize, there's tears welling up in his eyes, too; like he's in utter pain. His gun is aimed at my forehe...
