Chapter~22

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I S A T A T the kitchen table with a glass of water, totally bewildered. I look over at the specks and droplets of blood. The few smeared red marks which would for sure stain the wood floor.

I lift the glass to my lips and take a large gulp of fresh cold water. It was the only thing calming my nerves. I was on edge to say the least.

The look on Vincent's face when he found us. The love he held in his eyes for Hayley, it's a look I don't think he ever truly gave me.

I wonder if he thinks I did it? Pushed her I mean. Possibly trying to murder their pup and her. Did I really care what he thought of me though? Me and him are no longer mates, we're not even friends. We're just nothing. Which makes it easier to let go, to move forward.

Onwards and upwards Hadley, onwards and upwards.

My fingers stop clutching the glass which was between my lips as I set it down on the table. I take a deep breath. Inhale...exhale.

Inhale...exhale

Inhale...exha– who the fuck am I trying to kid here? This ain't working.

I rise from my seat and walk away from the table towards the stairs, making sure I don't step in any blood. I wasn't even going to clean it up because how suspicious would that look?

The only thing I knew right now was that I needed my bed. Sleep was the way to escape the evil of reality.

I ran up to my room, as fast as a lightening bolt. I didn't stop till I reached my bedroom door. It flies open then shuts with a bang and I throw myself into my bed, hiding myself under the covers like a pup.

"What a mess. Damn" I sigh and rub my forehead with my fingers. I could feel a pressure headache build up, a stress migraine. I groan and let my head bounce off my pillow as I lay down with force.

It didn't take me long to fall asleep. I had a somewhat guilty conscience for what happened, mostly because I didn't grab my psychotic pregnant sister in time before she fell to her possible demise. But then why should I feel guilty? I didn't push her, I didn't tell her to throw herself down a flight of stairs, she's just a crazy bitch.

I walked towards the cliff spot where I'd once lost my innocence. Time was different here, I could tell. It felt like I hadn't been here for years. The air smelt different. A dark musky scent which left a bitter metallic taste in my mouth, like blood. I walk to the edge of the cliff, the tops of my toes positioned over the edge but the heels on my boots planted firmly on the solid rock before the fall.
'Just jump'  A little whisper in my ear told me. Just jump. Just jump. It's so easy just to let go. Let yourself go. Set yourself free. I stretch my arm out and hold it over the ledge, a dark abyss down below awaits me. My hand widens and my palms touch the grey fog that covers the air. I'm so close to freedom, I can taste it, the evil sour taste in my mouth now gone, replaced with fresh crisp air, like you'd breath in on a mountain. A sudden image of Vincent and I flashes through my mind. The night we shared. It was one time, but god I'll remember it forever. Without thinking about it, I jump off the edge and dive into a pool of ice cold water. I didn't even fall, I just hit water in an instant. It felt good. I swim and I swim and I swim. I didn't even need to come up for air, it felt so good. I felt the freedom, the escape. I kept going so I could get as far away from that cliff, from that life as fast as I could. Just forget about it. Forget the life you once lived, break free and be who you truly know you can be Hadley. A leader. Not a Luna. A leader. My arms pump in the water like crazy, my legs exactly the same. The water suddenly becomes lighter. Instead of an ominous navy blue, it is now a sky blue. Like on a hot summers day without a cloud in the sky. I take this as a sign to push up out of the water and so I do. It's as if it all happens in slow mode. My whole face comes up to the surface and I shoot my eyes open and inhale a very deep, well needed breath. My surroundings have changed. I'm no longer at my pack, it's all behind me. There's a mountain. Very tall, very blue. Dark green trees surround it. I was still a little bit out from the shore so I could get a good view of this breath taking scenery. I felt like hiking up the great mound and never stopping till I reached the peak. Break free. Be free.

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