off the table, jung sungchan ✓

(26) - why humans are prone to hate changes

第三年

[Sungchan's POV]

[3 months later]

There were too many things going on as I stepped into my senior year. 

Maybe I moved at a slower pace, or everyone else just picked up a greater one. Too fast, I stumbled. 

"Morning, Aera."

She curtly smiled. "Good morning, Sungchan."

She put down my bag, taking out her stationery and History book. The Exo album I intended to gift her as her birthday present yesterday were kept deep inside my bag but I found no courage to pat her shoulder and handed it over to her. Nor do I find the courage to strike a conversation with her.

She still sits in front of me. She still smiles brightly towards me, we still text each other from time to time. She was still the same Lee Aera I'd known for the past two years. Or maybe not.

There's something off. Something seems to die inside of her.  We wanted to reach out. I wanted to ask her what was wrong. She built a wall and it's quite obvious I wasn't allowed to come in. She was right in front of me yet it physically feels like she was miles away. She's so close yet so far.

Perhaps, this is where my fault lies. I refused to accept changes, I denied it firmly even when I was in no position to say so. I shifted my head to the girl occupying my right side. "There's this new cafe a few blocks away, wanna go there after school, Aera?"

Her voice was light and tender. Everything about her is so beautiful I won't even deny I ran out of adjectives to describe how flawless she is. My first love, Winter, who's my girlfriend once again.

She turned her back around, facing Winter with a small smile. "Yeah, sure."

Winter led her gaze to the girl in front of her. "Ryujin?"

"Of course," Ryujin eyed me briefly. There's a glint of uncomfortableness lying in her eyes and I wondered why. The chaotic duo, Jaemin and Jeno were leaning on our tables, looked equally distressed too. 

I knew she didn't like me. I knew my feelings are one-sided. I knew I had a girlfriend now.

So why does it feel like she betrayed me when she got together with Changmin?

And most importantly, why do I feel nothing anymore when Winter held my hands?

And perhaps, I just have to remind myself, again, this is the price I have to pay when I involved feelings in my friendship. 

*

I definitely still hate my life. On how I'm a puppet under my father's control. On how I'm so rich but so poor in freedom.

dad's favourite

You have meetings to attend with Chaeyeon.

Please don't make a scene by skipping.

And be punctual.

Mr Joo will wait for you in the parking lot.

See? How are we going to reconcile if he's still talking in a formal manner with me?

I shove down my phone into my blazer, fastening my pace as I led my feet to my class. I had an academy to attend after lunch hour and I just had to forget my textbook in class.

"—Oh, sorry."

As a result of not paying extra attention to my surrounding, we bumped into each other.