4. Family matters

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Roxana

Karyme is screening and crying in Arabic, looking devasted at her laptop screen.

When she sees me, she makes one last spiteful, but for me completely not understandable, remark and closes the device with a thud.

After that, she proceeds to slam her fist against the mattress she is sitting on.

"Can I help?" I ask timidly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

We have known each other for five years now and I have never, and I mean never, seen her not even close to this. She is always cool, bubbly, untouchable until something reaches the far-away place where she has buried her soul. 

The crying gets so bad her shoulders are shaking and she cannot talk, so I do the only thing that feels right, put my hands on her shoulders and let her head sink on my chest. We stay like that for minutes while I stroke her wild black curls and look at how the tears roll uncontrolled from her beautiful, honey-colored eyes. Only slight whimpers disturb the silence of the night.

"She... she is sick. My mom. C...Cancer. And, and I sucked it up, swallowed my pride, and asked Dad for forgiveness. I asked him, no, begged him, to let me come home and see her. He said, there was no going back, that I made my choice and I am not his daughter anymore. That I have to bear the consequences of my acts and what is happening now is my burden to carry for being a disgraceful sinner."

"He is a monster," I say without thinking. I mean it. How can you forsake your own child like this? How can you treat her like this, regardless of what she did? She didn't murder anybody; she just didn't do things the way you wanted her to, but what child does? 

"I hate him. I wish he would be the one dying."

"Shh. It's okay. She is not going to die. Your father has mountains of money. He will get her the best treatment and she will be fine again, and she will come to see you here. I mean, I want to meet her too and your brother. The world is changing, and you know that. Change will reach your country too and your father will not be able to fight it because in the end love conquers all and so does justice."

"Not even you believe what you are saying."

I smirk. That's her sassy self again, the investigative journalist and the badass fighter. 

"Well, I do believe a part of my motivational speech, made up on the spot, not the last part though, that is indeed bullshit. If the world would be fair I would not be here. But it is what it is and I think you should call your brother, tomorrow when you know he is not going to be home, and tell him that one of the best treatment facilities in the world is here in Switzerland. I mean... that is true and it is also true that they still think you are in London."

She stands up and looks at me with a crooked smile on her face. 

"I knew it from the beginning. I could smell it, this cutthroat practical sense that you have sometimes. To some degree, this can be a superpower."

"Well, I didn't use to be like this but one has to survive."

I certainly didn't use to be like this. Remembering how I used to be seven years ago is like looking at an entirely different person. I was so grossly happy,  so, so naïve and innocent. Everything was the result of a too-happy childhood. Speaking of childhood, I have to check on Dani later. 

"Feeling better?" I ask Kary. 

"Yes, definitely. Now let's eat something. How was your day?" 

"Ah. Don't get me started on that."

This evening I go exhausted to bed, like almost every evening, and a bit wearier than usual. I have to make it through the next six months without getting fired whatever it takes. After that, my new life can begin. There are so many things I will be able to do. All that cash I am giving Ivan every month will go into my own pocket and I can save, I can invest, Dani can go to a better school, we can travel together, me, Dani and dad. Everything will be so beautiful. 

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