The day I met you. (Phan Smut)

Good Bye.

Video⬆️, DanAndPhilGames, Donkey Kong (watch it if you want, this story contains stuff about the video)

WARNINGS, smut wow, suicidal thoughts, death (not Phan), selfharm, eating disorters

*Dan POV*

I woke up, I opened my eyes and saw two ocean blue eyes staring at me, ''Morning, babe'' Phil said smirking, ''How long have you been awake?'' I asked, stretching a bit. ''Two hours, I guess.'' What? It's Saturday, but why didn''t he wake me up, ''Why didn't you wake me up?'' ''I like watching when you sleep.'' Oh my god, that's perfect.''Thanks, Edward Cullen.'' I said sarcasticilly, pecking him on the lips. At the moment our lips touched, Phil flipped himself on me and deepened the kiss. I just decided to go with it. I wrapped my hands around him and let my hands wonder on his back and ass, I squeezed his butt, ''Dannn..'' He moaned in my mouth and broke the kiss to watch me in the eyes, ''Round two?'' He asked smirking, I nodded and he slammed his lips against mine.

I was doing pancakes in the kitchen as Phil walked in, ''Wanna play 'Donkey Kong' with me?'' He asked wrapping arms around my waist and turning me over to face him, ''Yeah sure'' I said kissing him. We got the game ready and started it, ''I'm player 1!!'' Phil shouted and got Donkey Kong, I just laughed at him and decided to be Dixie Kong, cause I liked her sassy pink headband, not gay at all. As we played, I cuddled up to Phil and realized, how lucky I was to have him as mine.

*time jump to monday in school*

*Simon POV*

I sat in class with Dan and Phil, everyone stared at us. Mostly, cause I was hanging out with Phil Lester. People must have wondered, why? Cause I'm fucking in love with him, and, tho it's sad, you can't help, who you fall for. I didn't listen to what Dan and Phil were saying, I think they they talked about last weekend. I just stared at Phil, he was perfect. I love him, but I didn't want to. I squeezed my arm, to feel the pain in the new scars. At least it made me forget about Phil, at least for awhile. ''Are you okay SImon?'' I heard Dan's voice, ''Yeah, I was just in my own thoughts.'' I answered smiling at him, he just nodded and turned back to Phil. The bell rang and everyone turned to face the front and the teacher. I stayed in my thoughts, I don't deserve love, I just don't, I'm a horrible human being. I could kill myself. Then everything would be alright, no one would care, Dan wouldn't, Phil wouldn't, my single mom wouldn't, no one. That's what I need to do, that's how I'll get my peace.

''Bye Simon!'' Dan shouted, as he opened Phil's car door and got in. ''Bye Dan..'' I said, this was the final good bye and he had no glue. I walked home as fast as I could, no on was home. My mom was working till 1am and there's no one else. I walked to my mom's bedroom and took a box, from under her bed, it was full of pills and stuff like that. I took 20 painkillers from a bag and few other pills, I didn't even know, what they were. Then I walked to kitchen and took a bottle of vodka with me. I walked upstairs in my room and opened my laptop, I opened the note book and started writing,

Hey, I wanted to leave this message for you mom, Dan and Phil. Nothing that have happened is your fault, not that I was a horrible person for years, not that, that I was lonely, not that I fel for Phil and not that, that Dan and Phil were in love. I just couldn't take the pain anymore, don't blame yourselfs. I love you. - Simon

As I got the message done, I threw the pills down my throat and drank the bottle of vodka with them. I laid on my bed and felt the burn in my throat, I thought about Phil and how kissing him felt. How amazing it would be, if he were mine. And then everything went black.

*Dan POV*

I heard a ring after ring, I opened my eyes and reached for my phone, it was my aunt. Phil woke up and let me sit up. Why was she calling me after 1 am? I answered the phone, ''Hello?'' I heard sniffs and crying from the other end and my heard skipped a beat. ''I-it's Simon. H-he's d-dead..'' I heard my aunt saying. What? ''I c-came home, a-and found h-him dead, he k-killed himself.'' I started shaking, he couldn't. He would not kill himself. Right? But his mom just told me he did. How? I felt my phone drop from my hands. ''Dan, what happened?'' Phil asked behind me. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't. I had to. I hadto tell him. ''S-Simon'' I studdered and felt tears streaming from my eyes. ''H-he killed himself.'' I said and at that moment I let myself fell on the floor and cry. I couldn't believe this. This isn't real. This is not real. ''Dan.'' Phil wrappeed his arms around me, but I didn't answer the favor, I just tried not to choke. This is a nightmare. This is not real. Somewhere after crying for hours, my brains started realizing, it's true. Simon is gone. *throw back* ''Dan!!'' I heard behind me as I walked on the beach sand. I turned around to see my cousin after a lon time, we ran to each other and hugged. We went for swim and ate on piknik with our mom's. *end of throw back* That was the best day I've ever had, before meeting Phil. Phil just held me as a new stream of tears fell down my cheeks. I couldn't stop crying anymore. ''It's my fault.'' I said out loud, when I realized the truth. Phil tensed next to me, ''No. No Dan. No it's not.'' he said. It was, he just tried to calm me. It was my fault. I didn't deserve to cry, it was my fault, my friend, my cousin, my family member. Killed himself. My fault. I didn't deserve anything. I stopped crying, tho I wanted to. I tangled away from Phil and stood up. I wanted to get my blade andcut myself till I forget,but I didn't deserve to forget. ''Dan. It's not your fault. Please believe me. It's not.'' Phil tried, but ignored him. I didn't deserve love.''I'm gonna go for a walk. Go back to sleep.'' I told Phil, but he didn't move. ''No Dan. You can't be alone right now.'' I didn't care, I wanted to be alone. After trying to get pass him, but I couldn't, I sat in the corner of my room and just sat there, staring blankly on the ceiling. I could feel Phil's staring, but I didn't watch back at him. I just stared the ceiling and thought, about Simon and what I did to him.

My thoughts stopped as the alarm for school went up. I had not slept at all, I watched Phil, who was sleeping alone in my bed. I shutted the alarm, ignoring the fact that we had schoool and let him sleep, this must be hard for him too. I left the room, with leaving a note, Having a walk don't worry, I'll be back by noon. - Dan

I walked down the street, I felt hunger grow in my stomach, I didn't deserve to eat. I started running, trying to clear my mind, I ran and ran. I wasn't really athletic person, so the pain in my chest grew fast. But I didn't stop. I ran till, I came to Simon's house. I ws about to knock on the door as I felt my phone vibrating, it was Phil. ''Hey?'' I answered. ''DAN! Where are you!?'' Phil shouted in panic, ''Tell me where you are, I'm coming to pick you up right now.'' I wonderted should I tell him, but decided it wouldn't cause harm, ''I'm at Simon's house.'' ''Okay, I'm on my way, stay there.'' Phil said shutting the phone. I knocked on the door and after awhile my aunt opened it, ''Dan!'' she said throwing her arms around me, ''I was worried, the phone call shut last night.'' She said staring at me, ''Are you alright?'' She asked, I nodded, ''You seem to take this well.'' I said, mostly in wonder, how? She nodded, ''Yeah, he left a note. This was better to him. He said it's not our fault.'' I nodded, kind of understanding, ''DAN!'' I heard from behing me, Phil. He wrapped his arms around me and this time I returned the favor. We turned around to face my aunt, who had a questioning look on her face, ''This is my boyfriend, Phil. And this is Simon's mom Clare.'' I said they nodded to each other, ''Can I see the note?'' I asked from Clare, she nodded and leaded us at Simon's room. There were some police stuff on his bed, and his laptop was open on the bedside table. ''Read from the computer.'' Clare said to us, and we did what we were told.

Hey, I wanted to leave this message for you mom, Dan and Phil. Nothing that have happened is your fault, not that I was a horrible person for years, not that, that I was lonely, not that I fel for Phil and not that, that Dan and Phil were in love. I just couldn't take the pain anymore, don't blame yourselfs. I love you. - Simon PS, please don't worry, this was for the best. I mean it. Don't worry, do it for me. Please.

Could I stop blaming myself for him? Yes. Maybe. Yes. I turned around to face Phil. We both had tears in ou yes, his eyes were sparkly like ocean, I pulled him in for a loving hug. And he hugged me back.

Authors note, SORRYYYYY! I don't know why killed him, but oh well, maybe it's okay... Sorry if it seems kinda weird , but I was trying to get into the feel in Dan's mind. AND thanks for my own cousin, Matilda, for thoughts!! <33 But oh my god, I have 360 reads in this story! THANK YOU ALL!!! I love you! <3333333

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