His Wolf Pup - a Jasper Hale Story

65- I'm Scared

We made it home from training, and Jasper went straight up to our room. I ate a quick dinner before joining him.

As I walked into our room, I saw him standing still, looking out the window. I took off my shoes, shut the door, and made my way over to him. "Jasper, you okay?" I asked him gently. He didn't respond, so I walked closer and placed my hand gently on his arm. "Jazz?" I questioned softly.

He turned his head slightly to look at me, and his eyes looked puffy and droopy. "Oh, Jazzy," I whispered, pulling him into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him as he did the same to me. He leaned down and placed his head on my shoulder. "What's going on?" I asked him gently.

He shook his head instead of answering. He was tense as he hugged me, so I did the only thing I could think of to calm him down. I gently pulled him over to the bed and made him lay down with me. He placed his head on my chest, listened to my heartbeat, and wrapped his arms around me. I wrapped one arm around him and ran my fingers through his hair in a pattern with my other. We laid in silence for a little while he slowly relaxed into my touch.

"I love you," he mumbled, just above a whisper.

"I love you too," I whispered back. "But I need you to let me in so I can help, Jazzy."

We lay in silence for a moment before he said, "I'm scared."

"For the fight? Jazz, we'll be able to take the newborns."

"No," he mumbled. "I know the pack will give us an edge; it's just bringing up a lot of old memories I've tried to forget."

I didn't know how exactly to help him. His past was something that haunted him. He hated what he did, he hated Maria, and he hated who he was back then. The wars in Texas broke him in ways I didn't know how to fix. So, I just pulled him tighter to me.

He continued talking. "I'm afraid I'm still the same."

"You are not the same person you were back then, Jasper."

"How do you know that? You didn't know me back then."

"I've heard you talk about it, and I know you're not the same as you were."

"I'm still Major Whitlock, the best weapon in a newborn army." He spoke so bitterly it broke my heart.

"No, you know who you are? You're Jasper Hale Cullen. You're my boyfriend. You're the person I love more than anyone else. And you're the boy whose arms are wrapped around me so gently because you're afraid you'll hurt me, even though we both know you won't."

Jasper looked up at me as I finished talking. "What if I revert back in the battle?"

"Then the second it's over, you'll go back to you," I told him honestly. "Because this is who you really are, not the army man you were forced to be."

"What would I do without you?"

"We'll never know because you'll never be without me," I told him. "I'll also tell Seth to stop calling you Major; I could tell you didn't like that."

He smiled at my words before saying, "I love you."

I mumbled a quiet, "I love you too," before yawning on accident.

"Get some sleep," he told me.

"I want to make sure you're okay first."

"I am now. You talked me out of it." He sent a wave of tiredness toward me. "Now, sleep."

As I closed my eyes, I felt him set his head back on my chest, listening to my heartbeat once again, calming him down as I fell asleep.