nineteen

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it's been a week since harry and i had that little argument. I keep thinking that maybe i was a bit harsh considering we have both smoked since his accident. But then i think i did the right thing, he should of been honest with me and if he can't then we can't ever become "official".

The past couple of weeks since harry moved back in with cal i have been getting into twitch and streaming. I kind of have a set up but it's nothing special. It's something i mainly do when i'm bored which recently has been quite a lot, i'm trying to distract myself from harry, i'm waiting for him to come and apologise.

i tweeted out
'live on twitch in 5 minutes!' with a link attached to it. I always had a small following but kind of just let it sit there and not actually try and gain more and get a career from it but ever since seeing what harry does i find the whole thing quite fascinating.

putting on some mascara and some lip balm i set up my stream and started streaming.

'hiii everyoneeee!' i smiled
'just hear to chat today' i looked down at my phone and re tweeted the twitch link.

i chatted on the stream and watched a few reaction videos that my "viewers" had suggested just to keep the stream a little entertaining.

Harrys POV

today is the day we film for sidemen sunday and to be honest i'm excited about it. I had set my alarm for around 10am to be at the shoot for about 2ish. Today we're filming the 20 vs 1 of the sidemen: Harry video. I have not wanted to do this for a while now but the time has come. Everyone knows about my awkwardness especially when it comes to girls i don't know or don't really know. To be honest i feel bad for chloe, i shouldn't be filming this but maybe it will turn the internet attention away from her and i, meaning we won't have so much pressure on us.

'hello lads' i walked into the shoot room just making it meaning i won't have any cards.

'cut it quickly there didn't you' josh raised his eyebrows

'i cycled here allow it' i laughed and placed my bag down beside the rest of the boys

i was wearing the sidemen joggers and a white hoodie. I was not trying to actually impress anyone.

*buzz buzz*
'chloe tweeted 'streaming in 5'

i looked down at the notification and smiled slightly. It's nice to see her getting into the same kind of thing that i do. It's means that's one more thing we can have in common i guess.

'you sure chloe won't mind you doing this?' tobi nudged my shoulder bringing my attention to him.

i nodded
'we haven't spoken in a week i think..so' i shrugged and swiped away the notification.

'doesn't mean she won't be jealous' he smiled slightly.

'you're right but it's for "work"' i got up and adjusted my jumper to look semi decent.

'hi my name is emily, i'm 23 and i'm from oxford but live in London' the 19th girl spoke.

'uh hi, i'm harry and i'm 24' i smiled slightly.

by now i just wanted it to be over and we were only about 30 minutes in.

'yes' i nodded and looked over to the cameras where emily had to go and stand behind.

we finished filming after around 2 hours and decided on going for a meal. Nando's of course.

'so how are things with you and chlo?' simon asked whilst we all sat around the table eating our food.
i looked at him and shrugged
'not a lot really' i took a bite of my chicken.

'what do you mean?' jj chirped in

'yeah come on bog' ethan also chirped in

i sighed 'we haven't spoken since she found out i smoked at the party and didn't tell her'

'i mean i don't blame her' vik blurted out causing everyone to turn to him and raise their eyebrows.

'to be fair do you think you'd be happy if she smoked and didn't tell you, after you trusted her' he continued

i gulped, looking around at all of their faces staring at me
'i think she was a bit harsh but i understand that she trusted me and i broke it' i sipped my coca cola.

'exactly' tobi tapped my shoulder
'now you know why she hasn't spoken to you' he continued.

i stayed silent, continuing to finish my food whilst everyone chatted amongst themselves.
The more i think about it the more i realise that maybe i should apologise to her and try and build up that trust again. Chloe has been hurt before by broken trust and i don't want to be the next one to do it to her.

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