The tragic story of an innocent girl losing all that made her innocent.
。includes vents +poems ,, mentions of grooming, gaslighting, manipulation, heartbreak, mentions of sh/ed n more
*this is based from things that happened to me,, its not somethin...
اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.
I ask myself over and over "why am i like this, why are we so judgmental, so rude, so evil". No matter how i try I'll never be a good person, ill never be that girl next door that bakes everyone cookies and brightens up peoples day. I'll never be allowed to be caring or sweet. I'm never allowed to just be white and pink, soft and delicate.
Lo was right,, we are nothing but outlets to men's sick fantasies of little girls and what we should be. I'll never be loved by the men i love, i'll never love the right men as i should. Here i am again, on the same spot of my bed, crying. Fighting away every tear and every sniffle.
Do you know me? At all? Do you even understand me a little bit? I'm so lost that i don't even know myself... I've never known me. It's like I'm stuck in this desert, searching and wondering. Staving and dehydrated. At the constant edge of death... No one understands... No one ever understands.
Im always this horrid person, this evil cruel person. I'm alway the problem. The jealous one, the hurt one, the empty one. No matter how much I apologize. No matter how much I explain or try to get someone to understand.. no one does. No one ever will.
I don't forgive myself for being groomed, i don't forgive myself for calling the cops on my mother when i was a kid, i don't forgive myself for arguing with him, i don't forgive myself for not understanding, i don't forgive myself for anything. Every action, every word splayed out. My entire life. I am to blame. I ruined me. I allowed it.
