Nymphet

seeking in lost, inspector

seeking in lost, inspector

I would like to start this by sayin this is purely for release. All of these letters were a form of expression for things I couldn't speak to you and desperately needed to get out of me. This one is no different. I'm not going to throw your shit in your face and name every time you were a horrid person not only to me but anyone you could get your welted fingers onto. I will not attack you like you chose to do to me, I see no reason to do so. I can admit I can be immature and say things without thinking. I can also admit I do not word things the way others need me to. The first thing that comes to mind is that night I found your account and looked through it. of course, looking back at it now I didn't handle the situation correctly, not at all. I was honestly shocked at what I found, incredibly disappointed.. after the talks we had I genuinely believed you wanted to get better and maybe eventually would take the steps to do so. So seeing you sulk in your own grime and do it unbashfully confused me.. because of this shock and because I didn't know how to help you anymore I acted irrationally and borderline childish. As far as what I said to you that made you call me a grotesque parasite, it was true but I didn't explain what I meant correctly. when I said I manipulated her, I meant I mentioned the fact that I missed you and if you came back I wouldn't hold anything against you while venting but I knew that she would try and get us back on speaking terms. and when I said I lied to you, I meant I didn't mention things to which I had no obligation to, to try and allow you to see me in a better light than I felt like I deserved. it's best to keep in mind I was being very self-critical when I wrote what I did. In no way did I mean what I believe you believe I meant. now for the not-so-pleasantries, I know that you showed what I said to people and I know what you said to them. I know that you lied to me, I've known for a long time I just wanted to hear one of you grow a pair and say it. I would bait it out of you and no one ever budged, it was a tad hilarious (another thing I meant when I said I manipulated you). I despise you, I despise how you act. I think you have a fetish for being the victim. You spew hatred at me as if I have done half of what you have. I have never shown anyone a single time you were expressing yourself to me. when you showed me your belly I protected it and I cherished the fact you felt safe enough to do so. You never gave me that courtesy, you attacked me the moment you could. I wasn't even really angry with you either. I thought about how many times I had reacted out of emotions instead of asking for clarification so I tried to understand. what you said to me was something I would've never said to you, I wouldn't have even thought those things about you not truly. you don't respect or care for me, my feelings, my thoughts, my health, or any of the things you said you did. You lied through your teeth, no one who cares would've said something like that to me, not any part of it. i hope you get better, i genuinely hope you recover not only for yourself but for your victims. I hope you get to be happy and finally get to heal the broken child that you have stuck inside of you. i don't hate you, i do still care for you and deep down i do still love you. i just wish we would've left things be last year, everything would've been a-lot better that way. i just want my life to be completely separate from you, i want to completely forget about your existence because you will never change how you treat me. also, I want you to stop contacting my close friends, I was with her when you texted randomly. I'm sure you will say you both are friends but you really are not. I also know what you said to her back then, the things you spit in her ear, just leave her alone.

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