Nymphet

reality is something i struggle with

I feel amazing but the type of amazing that doesn't feel real. I went to the clearing alone today (after locking my keys in the house because I had to fight Rose to get her in the car and had to wait for my uncle to come to unlock it for me). I got to chapter two of Sharp Objects, I've been procrastinating that read for a while. I'm back in contact with the river, my river, my hard dark water. I missed him, I've missed him for years and here he is. he's missed me too, how lovely. I beat the moon home, just late by a minute. I've been writing, I have the urge to write about everything, down to my tampons. my grandmother's comments about my religion couldn't even upset me. it's my 1st year anniversary of being vegetarian this month, I got to celebrate how I wanted to. I lost the weight I gained from my binge 2 weeks ago. i have plans with my cousin for march, i'm excited we never see each other. I go home tomorrow but I no longer have to accompany my dad to work so my days are back free. I'm finishing up classes, I'm taking tests back to back. I'll just miss this country night air, the way the winds howl and carry the whines of animals forgotten. I saw the skeleton of the deer with his hip bone protruding and head tilted back as he lay on the side of the road. That made me happy, I was happy to see life run its course for him, that he got to move on mind and skin. i was happy that he was admired by me before he had to go. he fascinated me. Today was a very special day, maybe thats why it doesn't feel real.