the last time

part twenty one

this chapter gets a little spicy...

January 2nd

Aurora

At around 1pm, I wake up covered in sweat. Harry's arm is wrapped around my waist and soft snores escape his lips. I slowly slide out from beneath his arm and stretch. I grab my toiletries from my bag and rub the rest of my sleep from my eyes. I go across the hall to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I feel like a mess and my appearance reflects it.

I stare at myself in the mirror for a few moments and I start to cry. I cover my mouth with my hands, trying to quiet my cries. I don't recognize who I am anymore. I'm in a fake relationship with someone I love – who doesn't love me back, and I am hardly speaking to my mom. Everything with David and Santiago and my failing acting career. I don't know what I am doing and I'm so fucking tired all the time. I feel like I'm only happy in tiny moments and I crave for more. I take a few deep breaths then I wash my face.

Harry

I wake up and Aurora isn't next to me. I look around the room and see the bedroom door is slightly open. I get out of bed and step out of the room. I'm about to go towards the stairs when I hear small, muffled sobs from across the hall. I stop in my tracks and press my ear to the door. It's Aurora. I know it is and my heart sinks. I step back as I hear her take shaky breaths and I contemplate knocking but I think better of it then go back into the bedroom. I close the door and lie back in bed. When she comes back into the room, she smiles when she sees that I am awake.

"Good morning, sunshine. Sleep well?" She says, happily.

I swallow and nod. "Yeah. Feeling better?" I ask her, scanning her face. I want her to tell me herself that she wasn't. But she doesn't.

"I'm okay. I was thinking of finally having that talk with my mom today so I was kinda hoping you guys can take the day to explore or catch a movie? I know the weather isn't ideal but-"

"Don't worry. We'll get out of your way." I say, getting up and walking towards her. As soon as we're inches apart, I cup her face and she leans into my hands. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She shrugs, "Yeah. At least I will be. Thank you for coming, H."

"To be honest with you, Aurora, my bags were packed as soon as you told me you were coming." I smile.

"I have a feeling that Lex and Jason did too." She smiles sadly.

I chuckle, "Probably."

I sigh and hug her tightly. I feel her body relax and I kiss the top of her head. I desperately want to get rid of all the bad things she's feeling but I don't know how to do that. I also want to tell her that I heard her crying earlier but I know it will just make her feel worse. I want to give her the space and time she needs. Every part of me hurts knowing she's hurting but I don't know how else to be there for her without confusing her. The easiest solution would be to tell her how I feel so I can be there for her the way I want to be but after she confessed what she felt and I told her I didn't feel the same, it just doesn't feel right.

I should have told her on New Years how I felt. How jealous I was of Arlo and Chris because I want her to be mine. I should have told her that on the night Fine Line was released because that's when I knew for sure that I loved her. Those moments are gone now and I still have Camille's words in my head. I have to better myself so I can be the person she deserves.

Aurora

Lex, Jason, and Harry leave the house at 3pm to watch a movie and give me the time and space I need to talk with my mom and Santiago. As I watch Jason drive off in Santiago's truck, I take a seat in the living room and wipe my sweaty hands against my pants.