Emerging

Chapter 29: Jesse Marlon

      Teasing Vincent like that lightened my mood, and it boosted my ego to know he found me appealing. I finally got the kiss from our last date, and it was better than I could've imagined. Yet I didn't think I was quite ready to get intimate like that. His being a guy did unnerve me, and I would never tell him that. I understood the mechanics of gay sex but I didn't want to embarrass myself or worse, hurt him. But I would leave that alone for now. I was irrevocably enchanted by him. I would get there eventually.

  We settled on watching Hell's Kitchen with Korean subtitles because according to Vincent "-mumbled and accented English is hard to understand." Cuddling never felt so good. The lack of clothes might've contributed to the notion, Vincent was so warm and it made me hold him closer to me. I was wrapped around Vincent under the thick blanket and the first sheet of his bed. I was contently lying my head onto his chest. He was intently watching the show but my mind was wandering.

  I think I understood where he was coming from when he said he felt emasculate around me. It made me think of my dad, he was what is traditionally thought of as a "manly" guy. Always tough, stoic, and projecting that onto those around him. As a kid I wanted to be just like him, but I sometimes realized I wasn't. Until my dad taught me to "be a man," I was a shy kid who cried if someone yelled at me. I couldn't trace the exact moment I hardened but I knew it was there.

   I decided I would keep what he said in mind from here on out. I was feeling tired, and as much as I fought sleep, it took me.
~~~~~~~~~~

  The end of the week came quick enough, and all was right with my world again. Friday turned to Saturday, and before I knew it was Sunday morning. I would be helping Vincent move his furniture that was shipped here into his new house, I was bringing some of my friends along to help since it was a bit too much for a two man job. Besides, it was about time for Vincent to meet my real friends. Since we started dating I hadn't hung out with them as much. I hadn't told them about me being interested in a guy, so I'd use this opportunity to break the news to them. When I called, I described him as a new friend, doing so made me cringe.

   I felt bad the first time we hang out in months is to help my surprise boyfriend move in. Yet as far I knew they'd be cool with it. There was Tray, Dana, and Michael. Tray was the crazy one who always had weed on him. Half the trouble I've ever gotten into was because of him. Dana was chatty and gossiped within an inch of her life. But she could keep a secret if she tried. And Michael was the mom of the group. This dude was always the DD when going out, always has band-aids for some reason, and I'm pretty sure he knew CPR. I've been friends with them all since middle school. So I was excited to see them again. I felt shitty for just straight up disappearing on them these last few weeks.

But I hoped they would understand when they met Vincent.
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  We met up in a Starbucks down the street from Vincent's new house, my friends and I had to wait a few minutes for Vincent to come with the movers. We all sat in a secluded corner of the cafe and they looked at me expectantly. I wasn't sure what to say, but Tray abruptly interjects with, "You're getting a sex change, aren't you?" They all laugh at that.

"What the actual fuck?" I laugh out with them. We sober up and I continue, "No dumbass, even if I was I wouldn't tell you in a crowded Starbucks." Michael, wiping the tears from his eyes answers me; "You haven't given us much to work with dude, you've been MIA for a few weeks, we missed you."

Guilt flooded me, I missed them too, I was just preoccupied with Vincent and work. I tell them just that, leaving out the bit about meeting Vincent. Dana was studying my face, she was never this silent. "You met someone." She wasn't asking. Letting out an exasperated sigh I confirm her statement with a nod. My mind flits to Vincent and I tell them everything.
~~~
"Wow. That's good though, more women for me, I guess." Tray says as coolly as he can. "What women were you getting?" Michael snickers back. Dana is smiling widely. "So we're good?" I ask them.