Emerging

Chapter 12: Vincent

This is the most emotional I've gotten while writing and I've written bone-crushing deaths. But I consider Vincent a lot like myself.

I lie with my eyes shut tight deciding on whether I should get up or not when I remembering last weekend. The tears that threatened to fall in front of my coworker who part timed as my rival embarrassed the crap out of me.

Remembering the upcoming presentation for potential new investors, I throw myself out of bed and onto my feet. The sun annoys my still tired eyes but I push myself to the bathroom, where my routine takes place.

The brushing of my teeth is when I begin one of my many daily pep talks, and I needed one now more than ever. And the taming of the frizzy mess that was my hair was me winding down into feeling almost confident enough to walk into work. It was an entire process to get myself active.

   Picking my outfit was one of the best parts of my day, it reminded me of when I was a kid and I would wear my mom's skirts and accessories. The past-time was lost to my quest for faux heterosexuality. Yet I admit now that wearing suits and ties weren't nearly as fun as wearing dresses and heels, but I decided on a crisp navy blue suit paired with a white turtleneck that hugged my torso in an attractive manner.

    After I picked the shoes I deemed appropriate for my attire, I grabbed the essentials including the keys to my hardly new Lexus IS. It would be my first time driving in America, and I figured if I was going to drive it would be something inexpensive (for me anyway). But until now I'd been catching a ride with my mom to work, but today was going to be a bold one, I was going to be inexpensive, at least while I still had the confidence for it.

   On my way to the garage, I spotted my mom in the lobby. Which wasn't impossible because she was doing something strange for her, creating a scene. "I need to switch rooms, immediately!" She demanded of the concierge at the desk. Taking a breath I stride over to her, slightly surprising her when my hand lands on her shoulder. "What's wrong, mom?" I inquire in French, my mother and I are fluent in about five languages, but since she sent me to school in France I've tended to speak to her privately in French.

   She answers me in slightly loud English, "Last night I heard homosexuals having sex, and I want to be as far from it as possible!" It was too early in the morning to hear my mom's opposition to gayness. Whispering a small apology to the frazzled looking woman behind the desk and sparing her a look of sympathy, I whisk my mother to the nearby lounge chairs to convince her that homosexuality isn't contagious, while also not looking gay myself. God, my life is a mess.

"Look, it's too much trouble for you to switch rooms-" She abruptly starts her own argument in French now. "So you're saying that those filthy men should switch rooms?" Pinching the bridge of my nose, I needed to end this quickly and for a prolonged period of time, because if I have to indirectly defend my own sexuality against her any more during this time in the company I will die of a stroke. Too tired for French or any other foreign language (to me of course) I slip into my original Korean tongue. "While we're in America, you need to at least pretend to be supportive of these kinds of relationships."

"I suppose you have a point, I should've kept in mind how enabling America is, " She says with a slight eye roll. We broadcast our goodbyes with a tight hug and even tighter smiles, my own being fake. She goes back to her room, and with the feeling of guilt settling in my stomach I head to work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a painstaking headache, between the failing graphics of the game, the new investors presentation, and budget reports I was swimming in work. But what was the most painful was that Jesse didn't come to work until lunch. When he showed up I was already done with more than half of the presentation.

But I swallowed my judgment and went to his office to receive his list of potential investors, we each had to find some. We didn't speak of the night, that had made my Top Ten Worst Nights of my Life list. We traded lists and I began skimming his list but stopped at Havlin Inc. We couldn't do business with them, I couldn't do business with them. I knew what type of person the new CEO was and I didn't want to experience that again.

But I also knew how successful they were, and I needed to do everything within my power to allow this company to succeed. Which meant I needed to stop being selfish. I knew what I had to do. Using my now trembling hand to place the investor list back on his desk. I breathe, steadying myself to the best of my ability to express my knowledge, looking into Jesse's dark and intimidating eyes.

"I can't do the presentation with you."

I'm pretty proud of this! And why was Jesse late, why can't Vincent do the presentation? Be safe.

Au revoir