Emerging

Chapter 20: Vincent

I could feel the warmth spread through my cheeks as Jesse asked about my love life or lack thereof considering my age. "I'm twenty-three, do I look that old?" I joke despite the feeling of embarrassment that rushing through me.

"Well since you're twenty-three, why're you still cowering in front of high school bullies?" I was taken off guard by his question but I didn't want to look weak in front of him, "I don't think that's any of your business." I tried sounding stern to deter him but by the way his eyebrows furrowed I can tell it had the opposite effect. "I think I should know so I can deliberate who not to associate with in the future."

"Look, it's none of your business, you're not my boyfriend or anything, in fact, you don't even like guys, so you can stop being nice." I begin to stutter, one of my habits when I rant, and the effects of speaking more than one language. And I nervously pick at a hangnail on the side of my thumb. The pain of peeling skin distracted me ever so slightly. I don't like the pity in Jesse's eyes so I look down at my lap and I notice that I've been jiggling my right leg.

I feel his hand on my hand and it stops my anxious stutter, when I finally look up he is looking me in my eyes, "I don't have to like guys, I just have to like you. And before you say I have a girlfriend, I don't; just meaningless hookups that I'm willing to give up if you'll be my boyfriend."

I'm sure I looked a word beyond shocked. The proposition made no practical sense; we were both in the public eye way too often to be dating each other, it would be seen as unprofessional. Secondly, my mother would never approve of it. I know that this life is mine but I've spent the majority of it making her happy, dating Jesse would be like throwing away years of progress. It would selfish of me anyway.

  He's staring at me with expectation, fear, and something I can't quite place. "I don't think it's a good idea, I like you and it's not like anyone else would be willing but there's just too much at stake." He sighs exasperatedly, I think he knew what I was going to say. But all he's done for me flickers through my head, "But I barely know you, so why don't we start as friends and see where we go from there?"

I didn't have the heart to reject him, I still technically liked him back. "Alright, bet," he said with a smile full of relief, and with that our server, Madeleine served us our food; disturbing the soundproof bubble we had. We thanked Madeleine and I saw why Jesse took me here my salad looked amazing, and his pizza smelled wonderful. "Why'd you only get a salad, aren't you hungry?" He asked the strangest questions. "Of course I'm hungry but I don't exercise enough to eat my favorite foods all the time." I quip right back at him. "Dude, you're not even close to overweight if anything you're too skinny. But either way, I think you'd look gorgeous." How can he say these things with no shame? "Friends don't blatantly flirt like that," I say before taking another bite, getting a little more comfortable with my new friend.

He responds with a small smile and we continue our meal with laughter.

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    It's been a month since our rendezvous over lunch, and we've gotten close really fast. We were complete opposites, so the conversation was never dull. We found ourselves sharing things we never told anyone else, he told me about his insecurities with his self-worth. And in return, I told him of my high school trauma. His reaction didn't even surprise me.

FLASHBACK

          "You already knew this, but I had gone threw some bullying back in high school."

  We were chatting over some paperwork we decided to do together and talk of high school surfaced, it was kind of depressing actually. Jesse, being six foot two was on the baseball team and the basketball team and had a different girlfriend every week. And there I was the Asian nerd stereotype. Things got emotional when I retold, Paul's senior "prank."

     I started tearing up a little. I know I'm kind of a crybaby. "He locked me in the janitor's closet with a hooker, who he paid to touch me while I begged her to stop. And I didn't dare to even file a report against him and that woman for fear my mother would find out. "

     I whispered the last part, I stopped typing and wrung my fingers together. I sounded pitiful, I peeked at Jesse's face and he had a hard look in his eyes and his fists clenched. It took a while for him to respond calmly but I could tell it took an effort to do so. The response hardly matched his tone.

   "Next time I see that bitch I'll kill him."

    It's hard to say the kind of silence we worked through, but I know I was extremely touched. And I falling deeper for him every day.

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   So close but yet so far. Sorry, for teasing you like this but it was so fun to write. Don't worry though they'll have pet names for each other soon enough. I'm starting to love this story again.

  Also, I know it's a tragic thing that happened to my baby but loving friends and family will make it better. But I'm super busy with school, so...

Stay safe, Au revoir💙🥰