Doubts

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It's the weekend, and Adora and I are just talking and chilling and like always, Ace and Blue ran off somewhere informing, they need their boy time. Every Saturday, this happens. They both wander off somewhere and get back home early in the morning.

"Ado, do you think something is wrong with Blue? He has been off these past few days," I question her. She stops doing her nails and looks at me.

"No. Why?" Blue has not been skateboarding to school with me. He either arrives late or reaches school early. He rarely tells me that he loves me. He has been spending a lot of time with Ace when he used to spend time with me.

What if he doesn't want me as his best friend anymore. He is the bad boy of the school. He does not need a nerd like me to be his friend. The dream. What if it comes true? Tears pool in my eyes at these thoughts.

"Alex, it's nothing, don't worry, ok? He still loves you. You are his best friend." She reassures me, placing her hand on mine. I blink my eyes to look at her properly. She smiles sadly and wraps her arm around me. I lay my head on her shoulder and calm myself.

It's ok. I will be fine. He is my best friend, and he knows everything about me. He knows how much it will break me if he ever stops being my friend. Blue has always been protective over me. Why do you think that I don't have a boyfriend? Blue scares everyone away. He is the bad boy, and no one messes with the bad boy's best friend.

It's not like I have had many crushes either. I am a nerd. I always have my nose in a book. Blue always makes me happy. I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy. He doesn't have a girlfriend either. He says, and I quote, 'I don't want a girlfriend. They will separate you from me. One day a girl will come who will love you as much as I do and doesn't mind me being friends with you. I will marry her,'

Adora comes back with two tubs of ice cream. We both eat ice cream and watch movies and, it helps me take my mind off Blue.

The next day I spend alone. I reject Ace's offer for a hangout at his house. I need time alone to sort out my thoughts and need space from Blue. I go to the terrace and lay down, looking at the beautiful sky. A memory of blue brings a smile to my face.

'Dove, what do you think a cloud tastes like?' Blue questions. I open my eyes and look at him.

'It tasted like cotton candy when I last tried it.' I shrug.

'I don't need your sarcasm.' He deadpans, and I chuckle, looking at him.

"I don't know Blue, if I had wings, I would take you to a cloud and make you taste it.'

'Of course, you would.' He smiles.

"Have a minute?" My mom interrupts my thoughts. She hands me cold coffee and a brownie.

"You didn't come for lunch, so I thought I would bring your favourite." I take a huge bite of the brownie, suddenly remembering how hungry I am and smile at her.

"Tans Mom." She scolds me to eat and then talk. I chuckle and take a sip of coffee.

"Something on your mind?" She questions. I stop midway from taking a bite and look at her.

"It's just Blue has been acting strange mom. I mean can you believe he tells me that he loves me every day, and this past week he has told me only twice." I exclaim, showing two fingers. My mom chuckles at my reaction.

"He always spends the weekend here, and he is with Ace now. Last week also he was with Ace." I complain, pouting and taking a sip of my coffee.

"He is a teenage boy Alex, he probably likes a girl, or he has something on his mind that he can only discuss with a boy. Give him some space. He cannot handle being away from you for a long time. Do you remember that one time he went for a week to see his grandma? He facetimed you every day because he missed you so much. He will come running back to you. Don't worry," My mom comforts me. I snort at the thought of blue having a girlfriend.

"Thanks, mom." I hug her, and she places a kiss on my forehead. I feel a lot better now. It's Blue we are talking about, he wouldn't hurt me. He probably has his reasons.

The next day I meet everyone at school. Blue seems more off than usual. I hope he tells me what is wrong, and maybe I can help him.

"Dove, I am sorry," Blue apologizes.

"It's ok, Blue, if you don't feel like talking now, you can tell me later. I will always be here," He gives me a sad smile and turns around to go to class. I stop him.

"BLUE, ALWAYS YOU.." I wait for him to finish. This is the first time I started. His face glows like a kid during Christmas.

"BEFORE LOVE AND LIFE," He grins.

"I love you, Blue. Always have and always will." He smiles and heads for class. I am a little bummed that he didn't say it back. But I know he loves me.

Soon it's time for lunch. I buy lunch and sit at our usual table. I see Ace and Adora, but I don't see Blue anywhere.

"Hey, guys," They both look at me sadly. I raise my eyebrow at their behaviour.

"Where is Blue?" I question eating a fry. Ace sighs and looks behind me. I give him a confusing look and glance back. My jaw drops.

Blue has a girl on his lap. Not any girl. She is the same girl who called me ugly and a nerd and that I should not be a part of A4. Later I came to know about her. Her name is Vivian. Every day she used to call me names when I am not with Ace or Blue. Apparently, she has been in love with blue since last year. But he paid her no heed. I figured she was jealous of me and let it slide. He better has a good explanation.

"Let's go, baby," She informs blue, and both of them come to our table.

"Go on," She smirks. I look at Blue, waiting for him to explain what is going on.

"I am sorry, Alex. I cannot be your friend anymore," 

              _______________________

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