Serenity

42nd

Everything that matters 

A/N:

Accountability - 3rd out of the 8 #Selftiments

Taking ownership of your mistakes is essential towards personal growth. Wisdom stems from accountability. It gives us complete control of our destinies. One must always accept responsibility for thy actions and be accountable for the results.

PS. This is the final chapter. Mahal ko kayo, stellars. Malala.
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Hanggang sa pagsundo kay Aki ay halos hindi ko na ito tapunan ng tingin. Tahimik lang din ako sa dinner pati na sa pag-uwi.

I realized it's best to just stay civil. I have to always keep my mind in-check. Minsan kasi ay kung saan-saan pa napapapadpad ang isip ko when in fact, Archer should be our only business together. Aki already seems to be doing great on it. Ako rin dapat.

Kaya naman simula noon ay minabuti ko nang panatilihing kaswal lamang ang mga bagay-bagay. I talk to him whenever there's something to discuss about Archer but other than that, I don't even go anywhere near him. Less interactions, less worries.

Akala ko pa'y mahihirapan ako nung una ngunit hindi naman pala. I only approach him when needed and nothing more. Ni hindi ko na nga siya sinusulyapan man lang kung wala namang kailangan. Isang beses lang ata naligaw sa kanya ang mata ko ngayong linggo at nagkataon pang nakatingin din siya.

"Tulog na, 'te." tukoy ni Suzette kay Archer bago magpaalam. "Alis na ko.. Mukhang hindi na aabot yung mag-aayos ng pinto sa storage. Follow-up ko na lang bukas pagdating ko,"

Tumango naman ako at tinuro sa kanya ang binalot kong pagkain sa kusina. Malapit lang dito ang tinitirhan ni Suzette kaya't pabor sa kanya ang mag-uwian kaysa mag-stay in. Malaki na rin naman si Aki kaya't ayos lang na hindi 24/7 ang bantay. My four-year old doesn't wake up in the middle of the night weeping like an infant.

Nakaalis na si Suzette nang magtungo ako sa kwarto ni Archer. Naabutan ko si Aki na inaayos ang kumot nito. He usually leaves later than Suzette— just like tonight. Hindi ko man sya tignan ay ramdam ko ang pagsulyap niya sa akin.

"It's cold tonight.." tikhim niya. "It would be best to cover him with an extra layer,"

Tumango ako. "I'll get his spare comforter,"

Nilapitan ko ang closet para maghanap. Naroon ang mga towel at blanket ngunit hindi ko makita ang sadya. Si Suzette ang nagliligpit ng mga iyon kaya't tinawagan ko ito sa telepono.

"Nasa storage room, 'te." aniya matapos kong tanungin. "Nilabhan ko kasi. Kasama yun nung ibang kumot sa pangatlong drawer mula sa kanan,"

Pagkababa ko ng tawag ay binalingan ko si Aki para magpaalam saglit. His eyes were already on me. Nagsabi lang ako na kukunin muna ang comforter sa storage room.

Hindi na ko nagulat nang makitang nakabuyangyang ang pinto roon pagdating. Sira kasi ang lock kaya't iniiwanan munang nakabukas. Kinalangan ko pa ng basahan sa baba bago pumasok upang hindi magsara.

I went straight to the third drawer from the right which Suzette was referring to. Hindi na ko nagkalkal pa dahil nasa bungad na ang hinahanap. I was just about to pull the sheets out of the drawer when I felt a vibration from my pocket.

I took out my phone to check what it was. Kumunot ang noo ko. It was an email. From... Aki's old email address.

Achelous Dwayne Leyva
adrl@gmail.com
10:30 PM

Hi, Sey :) Here's another scheduled email for my girlfriend. Bold of me to assume that we'd still be together after a couple of years, huh?

Well... mas mabuti na ring gawin ko 'to habang may pagkakataon. Kasi madali lang namang mag-delete o mag-cancel pag naghiwalay pero yung maiparamdam ko sayo kung gaano kita kamahal? Magagawa ko lang yun ngayong nasa akin ka. Kaya ibubuhos ko na lahat. Ayokong may pagsisihan.

By this time, I'm pretty sure you're done with college. I wonder what the future you could be doing right now?

Working in a design company? Painting? Cosmetics? Digital Arts? I'm not sure. But one thing is for certain. I'd love you even after all these years.

Future Seya, I'm writing this to let you know how much you make the teenage Aki very happy :) Please remember that years will pass and a lot may change but my feelings for you are bound to stay the same.